By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
This past weekend I spent some one-on-one time with a man I had a deep, connected love affair with 40 years ago. I will share with you what I learned about men who love you. He knows I am writing about him. Out of my respect for him and myself, you will have to read between the lines. I am open to sharing my personal discovery and growth, however, those deepest and most private secrets I keep between my lover and me. Read my book though, for a glimpse of what a sexy, connected, intimate relationship needs to stay that way.
Do you wonder if there is potential for something greater? I will talk about potentialities at the end of this article. As a healer, I witness what is going on for myself and others. I stay present with conversations, observing my own actions as well as my partner's. Loving without attachment is the goal.
Loving Without Attachment?
When you live your life fully you will find that nothing is permanent. You may have commitment or marriage, but people change, sometimes growing apart rather than together and a relationship no longer supports either party. Death too can come and remove your partner from your life. Loving, in the moment with a focus on the love, rather than owning, possessing, controlling, manipulating or keeping someone is non-attachment.
When we no longer look for someone to fill a void in ourselves, we can live and love with non-attachment. Having a partner when we love ourselves completely then enhances your life, but you don't NEED to have someone to feel content, happy or fulfilled. Having love for ourselves first ensures the best success in our relationships because we don't need to change or fix our partners.
These are 12 ways to know he loves you and is NOT just interested in getting laid.
1. He buys you your favorite bubble bath from Germany. He remembers you love Badedas that is only available in Germany or German stores. He knows what you like and don't like. He watches you and puts those discoveries in his little memory bank. Then he runs you a hot bath at the end of a long, challenging day and sits with you listening to your concerns.
2. He has personal details about your life stowed away in his phone. He takes an interest in your children, your life and your interests. If he can't remember those details, he writes them down. When using his GPS you might find those details under your personal contact information. SWEET!
3. He wants to shower with you daily to make sure you are squeaky clean! He uses a natural bristle brush all over because he knows you are a health nut. He wants to touch you and uses the shower as a great way to do so. It begins or ends your day in a beautiful connected way. He takes great care to make sure you are clean all over. He lovingly washes your hair (when you have time.) Taking a daily shower together connects you. Rather than rushing off in your separate directions without touch, you begin your day with love.
4. He attends your family gatherings without complaint. Family gatherings can be difficult for us. For a partner, they can be excruciating! Be appreciative of his ability to keep his comments to himself about your drunken or critical relatives.
5. He drives you up the sidewalk under the overhang so that your hair doesn't get ruined before an event. He holds the umbrella over you to protect your hair in the rain. A man who loves you won't allow you to walk across the parking lot in the rain to do your shopping or errands before a wedding or big event. He knows how important our hair is to us. He might also drop you at the door.
6. He calls you on your crap when you head in a direction with your thoughts that aren't productive. When a heart attack occurs, we can be thinking the worst. Your loving partner will steer you back into the light where you belong.
7. He asks for your opinion about his outfit. A man who loves you wants you to feel proud to be with him. A man who does not, won't give a crap about how he dresses or whether you like or don't like what he is wearing.
8. A man who loves you will want to make sure you have as good a time in bed as he does. He will ask you questions, without concern for his ego. He will change positions, get creative and do what you like.
9. A man who loves you talks to you after sex, instead of rolling over and going to sleep. The afterglow is a wonderful time for deep intimate conversations to occur.
10. A man who loves you will listen to you. You will know that he is listening because he shows up with the exact wine you like, or the flowers you love. If someone isn't listening to you, they are just taking up space.
11. He asks you questions about how you feel. "Are you okay?" It may be after a sweaty love-making session or a long journey. Someone who is concerned about your well-being is a keeper (at least for now).
12. He wants you to know he is well-established and can support you. Even when we have our own career, a man who loves you wants you to know he is a person of substance, stability, and a go-getter. He wants you to want to be with him as much as he wants to be with you.
13. He is proud to be with you. He is strong enough to recognize your beauty, strength and power, without feeling diminished by you.
14. He respects you and your opinion. Even if he doesn't agree, he allows you your own thoughts and opinions. He is respectful rather than degrading. He boosts you up, rather than tearing you down. He is your rock, your support as well as your biggest fan.
Keeping A Relationship Alive and Thriving
Marriage should never be the goal in a relationship. Love is the goal. Always bring your thoughts back to loving acceptance. I have healers and clients alike who come to me, "I think he is the one!" They chase a man, rather than allowing things to unfold naturally.
If a partnership is destined for success, take your hands off the reins and ride bareback. Squeeze your knees a little more to support yourself. Before long the two of you will be riding like the wind if it is meant to be.
Focus on the love, rather than creating judgment about who this person is, or isn't. Having no expectations of the other allows them to be who they are, which sets your relationship up for success and personal freedom. When we attempt to control another, we take away their freedom to be who they are. We think we know better than they do what is best for them (which is not true). Too often we expect our partners to do, be or act a certain way or be what we want. Each person has their own free will. Expectations set a relationship up for failure, rather than success. Return to the love, you will never go wrong.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, hypnotherapist, energy healer, Intuitive catalyst, an ordained minister and host of the ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE radio show on BBM GLOBAL. She is writing her third book and doing limited coaching sessions at the moment. If you are interested in going deeper than you have ever gone before, are committed to your personal growth, can make decisions in the moment, want to open to the love that you are and reach your unlimited potential, e-mail Jennifer for a FREE 30 minute discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you.
