By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
The caveat here is that I have lost everything to mold or given everything away three times. I used to have a tremendous amount of stuff. I was a shopaholic replacing one addiction with another. My closets were stuffed to the gills with clothes I hadn't worn, some with tags still on. I had hundreds of books and collections
from my travels and living abroad. Now I live simply and am so much happier as a result. I had clutter everywhere, especially papers. Now my home is tidy, organized and simple.
Many people fill the holes they feel inside with stuff. Whether it is collections, clothing, cars, televisions or furniture too much stuff weighs us down and creates a heavy burden which makes us very unhappy.
Part of being happy is letting go of all the laden collections, multiple televisions, couches, armoires and family heirlooms.
Our stuff doesn't make us happier, in fact, too much stuff makes us very unhappy. JEM
Storage units are rented by one out of every eleven US households an increase according to a recent survey of 75 percent since 1995. There are 1.875 billion square feet of storage space in America with nearly 40,000 facilities.
When I moved from Georgia to Boulder, Colorado, I sold everything and stored very little. After over two years of paying for two storage units, one in Georgia and one in California I dumped both when I realized I didn't want any of it. In fact, the storage unit in California that cost me over $1,000 housed only cardboard boxes and a few tools.
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| Shopping addiction to fill the void |
from my travels and living abroad. Now I live simply and am so much happier as a result. I had clutter everywhere, especially papers. Now my home is tidy, organized and simple.
When We Hoard
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| Hoarding |
Earlier in 2016, I had a woman call me from Georgia for landscaping. Though I don't have For Heaven Scapes, Ltd any longer, she ended up talking to me for a while once she heard what I am doing now. She told me she could use some help becoming happier.
As we talked about her propensity to create crafts and hang onto them, rather than sell them, I asked her if she had a difficult time letting go of emotions. At first, she didn't understand me. I explained when we get upset about something but can't let go we are an emotional hoarder. She said, "Yes, I guess that is me."
She paid for a session because she had so much stuff her husband didn't want to buy another home till she got rid of all her crafty stuff. She was attempting to fill the hole in her heart she felt with her crafts. She had lost herself and didn't know what she wanted. She had so much she had a pod in the driveway as well as the largest storage unit she could have.
She paid for a session because she had so much stuff her husband didn't want to buy another home till she got rid of all her crafty stuff. She was attempting to fill the hole in her heart she felt with her crafts. She had lost herself and didn't know what she wanted. She had so much she had a pod in the driveway as well as the largest storage unit she could have.
When Things Are More Important Than People
Sometimes it is easier to have relationships with things rather than people. Things don't yell, complain or criticize. If we grew up in a household where we didn't feel loved, we may be attempting to fill that void inside us that is longing to be loved with our stuff. When we don't love ourselves unconditionally, others won't either. It may be challenging to let go of our things because we feel a sense of loss when we do.
Things Are Just Things
Loving ourselves unconditionally means loving all of us - even the shadowy parts that aren't the best parts of ourselves. We all have them. Imagine if you lost everything like I did to mold, or fire. What if you lost the ones you love? Putting too much importance on things means your life is out of balance.
Ask Yourself These Questions To Assist With Give-Away and DeCluttering
Ask Yourself These Questions To Assist With Give-Away and DeCluttering
- Have I worn or used this in the past year?
- Does this item make me feel good (happy) or sad?
- Is this item something that I want because I love it or do I feel a need to keep it due to guilt or some other negative emotion?
- Am I hanging onto this only because I know how much it cost rather than because I love it or use it daily?
- Do I really need ____ (five) of this item?
- Self-improvement. Learning is something we need to do daily. Even if you have multiple degrees learning is something we need to do to stay thriving and positive. Learning is exciting and uplifting. Expanding ourselves is what we are here to do.
- Self-love and acceptance. Loving the self is key to happiness and great relationships. Without self-love we are needy, looking for someone else to fill us up. We might even rely on our things to make us happy - but things can't hug us back, or touch our soul. Being Beautiful And Happy With You.
- Family bonds. Love is what makes the world go around. Forgive everyone and love everyone.
- Friendship. Life is more fun with friends. Having someone to talk to can lift our spirits and help us stay positive. Choose friends who are positive rather than negative.
- Daily meditation. Meditation helps you stay grounded and recognize what is important. Having a practice of stillness and listening to the inner voice will help you stay balanced.
- Healthy diet. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables with protein is an important part of feeling good. If we don't eat a healthy diet we aren't thriving. Fast food causes depression.
- Regular exercise. Exercise has been scientifically proven to ward off depression. Whether it is Zumba, yoga or a daily walk daily exercise is best, three times a week average will make you happier. Once a week isn't going to provide you what a daily walk will do. Go to a mall and put blinders on so you don't stop and shop. Walk around the mall when the weather is bad - till springtime.
- Philanthropy. Giving back is a tremendous source of joy and happiness. Helping others in some way could be as simple as volunteering at a local animal shelter, giving pet food to a shelter or money, teaching English to those who can't speak it. Envision what our world would be like if everyone was able to help each other out.
- Time Management. Being able to balance work, social activities, exercise and sleep is a large part of having a life you enjoy. When you have enough time for everything important you can create time for hobbies, organizing and decluttering. The more orderly your home is, the more enjoyable it will be to spend time at home. Getting to bed early will help you sleep well. When you are well-rested you will feel better and be less likely to be depressed.
- Love. Having a healthy balanced and loving relationship will certainly help you to be happier and more fulfilled. Finding the best person for you certainly, could take some effort. Knowing yourself well and your core values will help. Knowing what you want in a relationship or partner is something that I can help you with in my From Tainted To True Love course which begins on February 1st. A relationship requires work, compromise on both sides. When we have a loving relationship we become bigger, stronger with their loving words and support.
