Sometimes, our addictive behaviors and patterns are so ingrained that we would rather stay where we are then take the step up, to get out of it. There are many ways that addictions express themselves. From food addiction, to shopping, drugs or sex, the source of all addictions is the same. We long for love. We crave love and don't love ourselves enough.
We might have our ex who used to beat us up, sleeping on our couch because he is the father of our daughter, so we have to help him, right? We may focus on fixer upper relationships, certainly with our help we can shape our partners into better humans. This focus on others takes us away from healing our own issues. We look at others issues because it is too painful to see our own.
When those things don't happen, we look for others things to fulfil our needs as adults. When our mothers aren't whole, confident and healthy human beings, we don't form healthy bonds with other humans. We look to others for validation, praise, self esteem and love. Often we are so blocked and resistant to love, we don't feel it when it is truly present.
Smoke 'Em If You've Got 'Em
If humans weren't such addicted souls, alcohol, pot, chocolate and cigarettes wouldn't be multi-billion dollar industries.
|Marilyn was the epitome of neediness, the loss of her mother|
created a void she attempted to fill with alcohol and drugs.
the cash register, I often broke into a sweat. I would justify my purchases, I deserved them I would think at the same time ask myself, "What am I doing?" Then guilt would set in. I would feel regret, shame and horrible afterward. The thrill was in the hunt. After a while, when my credit cards were tapped out, I found staying away from malls, festivals and stores was a better way to go, when I was feeling emotions I didn't want to experience.
- Recognize you have an issue. DENIAL is the biggest part of addiction.
- Accept that you have an issue and you need help. Get counseling, a coach or someone to help you through it.
- Spiritual Practice. Ask for God's help. The fastest way to heal an addiction is by admitting you are helpless over it. Most addicts think they can do it themselves. That is the inner demons talking. Most people will not kick a habit without help of some kind - 12 step, church, prayer, healer or coach, therapy.
- Be compassionate. The more loving you are of yourself through it, the better off you will be. You will have greater success when you don't beat yourself up for it. Humans have addictions. You are human.
- Stopping the habit (addiction) is not enough. Behavior has to change. Without a change in behavior there is no change. Don't keep credit cards, wine, cigarettes, sugary foods, drugs in your home.
- Perception is everything. Have a positive attitude. You can do this!
- Eat a healthy diet. Good food will help sustain you through the stress of giving up your addiction.
- Get enough sleep. A good night's sleep will help you feel more positive and aid depression.
- Love yourself. You deserve it! You are deserving of love. You are already worthy. You are already enough!