Orgasm For Life: Faking It

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Excerpt from Orgasm For Life. 80% of women fake it 26% of the time. Why? because they fear they are taking too long to achieve an orgasm.

O-No!

When Harry Met Sally faking it in a restaurant as proof

Living without orgasm shrinks a woman’s feminine power and reduces self-esteem. The physical and emotional frustration of being left out in the cold is one I don’t like to see anyone live with. Living in an orgasmless world is not living fully. 

Unless many women self-stimulate, they just don’t get there. Believe me you don’t want to have to go to the bathroom after your husband or boyfriend is fast asleep to masturbate. Or worse still, lay crying yourself to sleep with frustration feeling alone and neglected. Guys, women will have sex with you more often if they reach orgasm regularly. Men complain that women don’t want sex. Would you, if you didn’t come?  

Women need to compassionately teach their men how they want to be made love to. We can’t expect men to know. Women often allow events to happen without steering or making suggestions. If we are considerate, kind and compassionate with our men, they are more apt to give us what we want. For men, it is your job to make sure, that your partner has an orgasm. (I am hearing male readers ask, “Oh is it my job to get her to come?” Yes, it is fellas, every time. Not just once in a blue moon. Let me ask you this question: do you expect your partner to bring you to orgasm? Of course, you do. I rest my case.)

My husband’s bruised ego along with his resultant pouting and rage (caused me to remain silent about my lack of orgasmic bliss. I have listened to many women since that time with similar issues. 

Women are not having orgasms and are remaining silent about it. During the hundreds of interviews, I conducted, many women have said to me, that women have created this false reality that all men are studs by faking their orgasm. We have to take responsibility for being where we are.

Taking responsibility for what we have created is just the beginning. This issue is global, not regional. I have heard women complain from all over the world. Men are coming, but many women never do. Women get what they get, which is usually a quick on-and-off event in which most women are rarely pleasured to orgasm. 

Our cultural landscape has made sex about the male’s priorities in any relationship. Women have been the pleasure palace of men for eons. Many men, after having an experience with one woman, are off to the next hottest conquest. Although not considered the norm, women can also jump from bed to bed.

I am committed to helping women heal their lives and love themselves fearlessly. Fearless living and loving is our birthright. I help women heal their sexuality as it is a part of who we are. If you don't love yourself enough to have sex with your partner, there are self-esteem issues involved. Loving relationships involve sex, compassion, acceptance, loving touch, appreciation, respect and trust. 

Aphrodite Effect is all about the effect of LOVE on all that we do. Venus was the Greek Goddess of love. She was an ageless beauty, powerful, strong, sexual and knew who she was. She loved herself

fearlessly. Love gives us power, ageless beauty and deep connection. Set up your FREE discovery session with me here. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

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The Joy of Pleasure Seeking

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Call me a hedonist! I have to admit that I love pleasure. 15,300,000 other people seem to be searching for it as well when I googled the term "pleasure." Perhaps that is why I am happy. I do my best to focus on the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled. 

I do what gives me that incredible feeling of pleasure, this is what many people call following your bliss. I travel at least five times a year, I spend time with my family whenever I can, I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. I do work that I love and I stopped trying to make others happy.

What is the definition of pleasure? 

Merriam Webster's definition of pleasure is:

 a source of delight or joy. A frivolous amusement, or sensual gratification. A further search using Bing suggested a happy feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment.

There is no doubt that pleasure raises our happiness quotient. Our brain is geared for pleasure. There are many ways we can experience pleasure; getting exercise, eating healthy foods like fresh fruits and vegetables, spending time with the people we love can also help to heighten our experience of pleasure. Sex also increases pleasure for us. Some people may feel that they aren't good at it, and resist having sex. Many people are only having sex occasionally, rather than regularly. Regular sex keeps us healthy, youthful and balanced.

Of course, the flip side is that relationships can be challenging. Some people may feel that their relationships don't make them happy. Their relationships might not bring them pleasure. If not, why not? 

I recently watched the movie, Hector and the Pursuit of Happiness. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. The movie chronicles a psychiatrist looking for happiness. 

Not only is the movie humorously done, but also a source of inspiration for those looking for it. "Hector" will help you recognize what you already have. The recognition of the good in your life can allow you to feel happier and give you increased pleasure. I agree with the premises in the movie. Seeking pleasure can bring you happiness and Vice Versa.

Different Ways To Experience Pleasure

My little dog Yoda in the very hot sand

Living in the desert can be an intense experience. In the middle of a  two-week, hundred degree plus heat wave I decided to take an impromptu trip to the beach.  I checked the air temperatures in San Diego and was thrilled to find temperatures there were in the low 70's. I booked my hotel through hotels.com and found a boutique hotel that was pet-friendly in Little Italy. 

My time at the beach, although short, recharged me, enlivened and excited me. I received many different types of pleasure there alone. I took myself out to dinner, had a great glass of wine and treated myself to Tiramisu, my favorite. Eating slowly is a sensual experience. Tasting our food slowly, savoring it, can be as sensual an experience as a massage for some of us.

Adventure

Travel just about anywhere can be exciting. Taking a trip on a whim can be the most exciting. Travel details and planning can bog us down, create more stress, rather than give us the pleasure we seek. Being spontaneous and deciding the same day to go somewhere, without any preparation can give you a sense of excitement or adventure. The trip doesn't need to be lengthy to give you a rush of positive energy and happiness. A road trip can be just what you need to give you inspiration or your batteries a recharge. 



A trip out of town to a lake, mountain or ocean can bring you a new lease on life, ideas or inspiration. Water and sand ground us. We all need to get ourselves grounded, in touch with nature to recognize who we are, and enjoy the simpler things in life, like just being alive. Making love in a new place can also re-ignite that spark into your relationship. Camping is an inexpensive way to travel when you can swing it. 

The Regenerating Affects of The Ocean

Playing on the beach with my dogs gave me great pleasure. I walked along the soft sand, played in the water with my dogs and relaxed on the shore. The sound of the ocean, and just looking out over the water is in itself meditative. Salt water is healing. The

minerals and salt are restorative agents which cleanse our negativity, balancing our PH. I recommend bathing in salt water to many of my clients because of its healing effects.

Our Brain on Sex

A study in the Netherlands determined that both men's and women's brains react similarly during sex. The brain behind the left eye (lateral orbitofrontal cortex) shuts down, which is the seat of reason or behavior control. When you have an orgasm you lose control. There are some differences as we would expect. When women have

sex the periaqueductal gray (PAG) is activated. The PAG controls the flight or fight response. It is no wonder that women need to feel safe when having sex. Having trust for their partner also deepens a woman's experience of pleasure.

O-face

When women were asked to fake an orgasm the brain scan showed the part of the brain that controls movement was activated. Women actually having orgasms did not. Interesting that the brain registers the difference when we fake orgasm, our body does also.

The Scientists also said that men and women looked like people on heroin while in the throws of orgasm. Pleasure it seems, is the same. It does not matter whether the pleasure is from food sex or drugs.  Denying ourselves pleasure is also saying no to happiness. How do you deny yourself pleasure? I'd love to hear from you. Visit me on FaceBook and join the conversation.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life coach, hypnotherapist, and energy healer. She uses all of these tools and a few others in

her coaching practice. If you are ready to commit to being happier, more expanded and having happier relationships, set up your free session with her to work on an issue. This way you will be able to see if her work is a good fit for you.

Men, wondering how to get your woman to want more sex?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

It is not news to anyone that men more often than not want sex more frequently than women. I am not saying this always is the case, but generally speaking, men are more motivated by sex than women. Men are testosterone based, as my friend Linzi Levinson from Voice America, Illuminating Now, says and women are emotion.

So you want more sex and you wonder why it isn't happening more frequently. Here are some of the reasons why.

1. You may be coming too quickly and therefore not satisfying your woman. Women typically need more time to get from zero to 60 mph. They need time to become aroused, get into the mood and get revved up. In my book, Orgasm For Life, I call this HTP. It is a problem. If you come within the first few minutes, it is a problem. More frequent sex does not make this HTP go away. (Read my book for the solution anger/rage is the reason. This anger is hidden.) When the woman is not satisfied on a regular basis, she becomes disinterested in sex and either shuts down sexually, finds another partner or self stimulates, possibly with a vibrator.
2. You may be making love longer than two minutes, but you may not be giving your woman enough stimulation in the right places. Every woman is different. Some like their nipples squeezed, sucked or pulled, some like their neck nibbled, kissed or bitten. Some women want you to have three hands and digitally stimulate, nibble, kiss and lick all at the same time! Women need more than 2 minutes of foreplay. If you are not stimulating your woman to orgasm before entry, you are missing the boat, and the orgasm for her. The key is to slow down, take your time and pleasure her first. She will be so grateful you will have her smiling and pulling you into the bedroom for more~!
3. Focus on HER pleasure, instead of yours first. You will come, don't worry. You usually do, right? But women more often than not, DON'T. This is where the gap is. Women need 20 - 40 minutes of stimulation, digitally (fingers), orally (tongue, lips) or all of the above. Take time to stimulate, get her really aroused. Even if she begs for it, stimulate her longer. The G-spot will not even show up until 20 minutes of stimulation. If you want her to experience a G-spot orgasm and have you being called "THE MAN" take your time. Stimulate her for 20 minutes - not just in one place either.
4. NO TARGET PRACTICE! Some men look at women as if all we are is breasts, ass and a vagina. Notice other body parts. Her face, her eyelids, her ears, neck.....Believe me we are so much more than sexual body parts. We have a beautiful face. Tell us we are beautiful. We have a neck, kiss it, nibble on it, touch and stroke our arms, our legs and stomach before you zero in on the TARGET. Spend time massaging, stroking, kissing all of her before you zero in on the vagina or clitoris. Follow #5.
5. Spend 10 minutes kissing, 10 minutes stroking, 10 minutes all over body massage, 10 minutes oral sex, 10 minutes of digital stimulation, then you can make love. Anything less than 20 minutes of foreplay is not enough for MOST women.
6. Every woman is different. We are different during ovulation, menstruation, pregnancy. Different times of the month and different hormonal imbalances can change sensitivity. What works today wonderfully well, may piss us off tomorrow. Take careful note of hormonal cycles, sensitivity at different parts of the month and act accordingly. 
7. Make sure your woman has an orgasm one, two or three times before you do. Each woman is capable of being multi-orgasmic. The trouble is that many men are in a rush to "GET 'ER DONE!" Enter and get off and done. This leaves women wanting. This means you don't get frequent sex, because you are not a great lover. Being selfish in bed will get you cut off. The more giving you are to your lover, the more you will get in return. Taking time to pleasure all her hot buttons, will get her to the big "O" before you do. Make sure she has at least one orgasm, or maybe two, before penile penetration.

The point here men is, focus on her pleasure. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she is lovely. Give to her FIRST. Then you will have her coming back for more. Remember the reason I wrote Orgasm For Life was that 80% of women fake it, because they are not having orgasms. The reason they are not having them, is because their partners are not giving them what they need. 

Make love in her head first. Arousal begins in the head. Start with love-making in the morning. Leave a rose on her pillow. Tell her when you leave in the morning you can't wait to get home to her tonight. Whisper in her ear what you want to do to her when you get home. Leave her thinking about your kiss as you walk out the door. Give her something sweet and sexy to think about.

Women can't get aroused when they are fighting with you. When you haven't told her how beautiful she is. They can't focus on sex when the kids are crying, there is laundry all over and the dishes aren't washed. Women are different than men. Obviously! That is why you are attracted to them in the first place. More in my book, Orgasm For Life.

Jennifer is an author, inspirational speaker and has been on over 200 radio shows in the past two years. She is a life, love and sex coach. Her website is: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

1. 
   

Orgasm For Life - Viagara

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Orgasm For Life will be available for sale on Wednesday, May 28th. This book is a bold look at men and women with respect, candor and humor. This book was written to assist people to have better sex, better love and healthier more loving relationships. Orgasm For Life,  is laugh out loud funny as well as educational. It is filled with insight, wisdom and compassion for both sexes. The following is an excerpt from Orgasm For Life,  on the subject of Viagra. One of the statistics that needs to be added to this section is that 80% of women fake orgasms. There is a reason they fake it. They are not reaching the culmination of the sex act by the time that their male partners do. They feel it has taken them too long. (More on that subject tomorrow.)

Many women I know stop having sex in their fifties. They have stopped having sex because it was not fulfilling. They didn’t have orgasms and their husbands and lovers didn’t seem to know. Many felt that their partner’s did not care. This is just sad. Many women are disheartened, like I was, about the sex they have had. Just because we have sexual body parts does not mean we know how to make love to another. Or even with ourselves. Many of us need help. Sex can improve as you get older, with some guidance and understanding. Men need education, understanding, and patience with us women. Women, too, need to have better understanding of the male psyche and how it feels to be rejected when we are not in the mood. With new knowledge and understanding more women will be satisfied and happier. 

Viagra

Millions of men have talked to their doctor about Viagra. Viagra is a pharmaceutical pill which uses five letters from the word vagina, which I find interesting. This little blue pill was created so that men with difficulties in the cranking department would be able to get hard enough to participate and enjoy penetrative sex. 
 Men have used the little blue pill to improve their sexual experiences where an erection is challenging or impossible. Of course, there are side effects, the worst of which is death. To think that a man would risk his life to experience coitus is telling. Sex is an important part of life. Completing the sex act is imperative, especially for men. Men have been having orgasms for thousands of years without major issues. Why is it so different today?

Women have suffered from frigidity for thousands of years, with the inability to complete the sex act. If sexual dysfunction was as prevalent in men as it is in women today as well as historically, a little pink pill would have already been created. This little pink pill would change the way millions of women experience sex. This pill would use the word penis to derive its name. This magical pill would be called, Piñata! As you can see, Piñata uses only two letters from the word penis, because women can have almost as much fun without a penis. Like a piñata, once you crack open a woman with an orgasm, she is full of fun, surprises, and lots of sugar. The mystery is solved! When women have orgasms through love-making, they return for more. This is an amazing concept! Instead of women existing in non-orgasmic relationships for twenty, thirty, or forty years, we could be enjoying orgasms! It is up to women to know what they like, and to have partners that will lovingly and patiently get them there before they do.

Given the popularity of Sex in the City and 50 Shades of Gray, the time is ripe for a fun, educational book about sex. Remember The Joy of Sex? Written in 1972, it sold over 10 million copies. People want more information, while morals and society have changed.I am an empowerment and sex coach for women. What I have found is, most people are ignoring the issue because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings. Sex is a delicate subject. I have a knack for being irreverent and unorthodox, which makes me an excellent candidate for a book about a delicate subject. I take the “ahem,” out of sex by demystifying it. I don’t sugarcoat it, and I am fearlessly open. Sex, to me, is perfectly natural with nothing to be ashamed of. I also feel that sex has a deeply spiritual component to it. After all, who created sex anyway?

Thankfully, there are strong women on this planet that are heralding a new society, where men and women can become each other’s sex slaves, and women are touted for standing with one foot poised on their partner’s chests wearing stilettos and doing fist bumps with their “sistas.” Oh, wait. That was just a dream I had recently. What was I thinking?

Seriously, to really have the kind of sex you fantasize about, you need to revere your woman and your man. Love, respect and admire who they are. Men, you need to pleasure her until she can’t speak. Men, do you want the ultimate orgasm and sexual experience? Then give it up first. Give the best orgasm to your woman first. See how this changes the complexion of your relationship. 

Women are capable of having multiple orgasms. It just takes most women longer than men expect to have ours. Thinking that we are the same as men is what created the chasm that is currently between men and women today. Most women don’t experience an orgasm through vaginal penetration. Yet the majority of the men in the world continue to make love to women in this way. In India, for example, men take care of their own needs without asking if a woman has had an orgasm. It is not discussed. There is not an alternate method to bring a woman to orgasm because sex is for the man’s pleasure, not the woman’s. To the vast majority of the world, sex is a private, personal matter that is not up for discussion between husband and wife. Whether a woman experiences pleasure or not, rarely enters a marriage discussion. Living in the United States, where we are purported to be advanced technologically, medically and scientifically, most men do not know what it takes, or how to bring a woman to orgasm. 

As a healthy, heterosexual female, I have had lots of sex. I have been married and divorced 4 times. During those marriages, sex was an important component in my relationships. It was enjoyable. Sometimes it was very good. However, over time it became flat and cursory. I noticed how truncated, boring, and dull sexual experiences became after years of marriage. We often rush through our encounters because one person is less interested than the other, or when babies arrive on the scene. I hear stories of women telling their husbands, just do it and get it over with! Many women do not participate during sex. They lie still, like dead fish, expecting their men to just pleasure themselves. Who wants sex like that? It isn’t good for anyone. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of Orgasm For Life. This book was written to help people improve their sex lives, deepen intimacy and have happier, healthier relationships. Sex is the glue. Love is the foundation. 54% of Women are unhappy with their sex lives. 46% of men are unhappy with theirs. Marriages are failing at over 50% for first marriages and over 60% for subsequent marriages. This book was written to bridge the growing chasm between men and women, so that we understand each other. With understanding, compassion, appreciation and trust sex lives improve, communication improves and we get back to why we fell in love in the first place. Instead of being at war with our partners we need to revere them. As that kind lady married 60 years said, "We need to have as much respect for our spouse as we would for a complete stranger." Very wise words. This is not the case in most marriages today. Disrespect, complaining and irritation result from the smallest of things. We treat our spouse as if they are the enemy. This is not love. This is hatred. 

Orgasm For Life is available on Amazon, Kindle, Smashwords. I would love for you to purchase your copy on Wednesday, hump day - yes, my crazy sense of humor. Then write your review on Amazon. This will help others to make their decision to purchase the book. I appreciate your review and look forward to hearing from you about what you think of the book. I am open to hearing your suggestions for my next book, Heart's On Fire.

To visit Jennifer's website click here 

Jennifer is an intuitive life, love and sex coach. She empowers women to love themselves fearlessly and heal sexual dysfunction. Her passion is helping women and men heal past trauma and sexual dysfunction. You can schedule a private session with her through her website, or e-mailing her here.