Tread Softly This Holiday

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

As I wrap up my time here in Boulder, Colorado in the cold and head for warmer weather in Toronto, Canada a word of caution for this Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. A lovely combination of the slowing of the planet Uranus (which is known for destroying and undoing) coupled with the last full moon of 2015, could increase challenges, difficulties, and communication. Emotions could be stronger than usual and triggered abruptly.

Just a few suggestions to help you navigate those dinner-time conversations when embarrassing questions are asked about your upcoming engagement, pregnancy or promotion. If you are single, like me, there are often questions about when we are going to grow up or get a real job. This is for you! This article is written tongue in cheek, we all need a better sense of humor when spending time with family members and loved ones.

1. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer pretend you didn't hear and ask for more mashed potatoes.
2. When asked how many cats or dogs you now have tell the inquiring person you are starting your own non-profit shelter and have a no kill policy.
3. When your children are critiqued by grandma or grandpa, smile at the octogenarian and tell them that you encourage creativity and individuality, rather than following the crowd. You are raising an individual, a world-changer. World changers are different and bounce to a different beat. Thanks for noticing Grandma! Don't forget to tell her how much you appreciate her wisdom and input.
4. If someone tells you that you have gained weight, tell them that you just won a hot dog eating contest and haven't taken all your winnings off as yet. 
5. If you are a vegan or vegetarian, you can just as easily answer the above question about weight gain that you are trying out a new collagen booster and it may look as if you have gained weight, but it is really just collagen.
6. If you are slaving in the kitchen and no one is helping, tell your guests that the good news is that they get to eat today! The bad news is that they get to help put dinner together! Get some
   
   help. Don't do everything yourself.
7. I have a very dysfunctional family. I smile and nod a lot while eating my food. I don't get triggered by their attempts to put me down for being a "hippie coach," or "whatever you do...." 
8. Eat less and chew more. When we are upset our digestive system doesn't work as well. Anxiety and food don't mix. Breathe and smile. Know that you are only connected by DNA. Love, love, love is what they all need. 
9. As the penguins in the movie, Madagascar say, "Smile and wave boys! Smile and wave!" Know you will be leaving soon and this holiday will be a fond memory before you know it! Tell family members how much you love them, no matter how annoying they might be after several days. 
10. Make your presence the important part of Christmas, rather than the presents the focus. Time spent in conversation with loved ones mean so much to those we don't see often. Enjoy
    
    them while you have them, life is short and we all end up taking a dirt nap at the end of our road, so make the time while you are here happy and enjoyable. Don't get caught up in who did what to whom. You are no longer 8!

December 29, 2014

Wishing you a wonderful and happy Christmas. Tread softly and spread the love. Smile more and breathe deeply. There is plenty of time to sleep at the end of the road! I am off to Toronto to spend Christmas with my 93-year old mother. We just don't know what tomorrow may bring, make the best of today, no matter what. 

AphroditeEffect.com

ALL Alone For The Holidays?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

What is it about holidays that make everyone want to go home to visit? Once there, we wonder what ever possessed us to spend all that money on airfare or gas to listen to our parents' and siblings tell us all the things that we are doing wrong and how we need to live our lives differently. But that is family. They are the ones that know exactly how to push our buttons and get our goat. 

Sadly, many of us will be alone for the holidays. Children may be stateside when you are deployed.  Or your family may be in a foreign country and too far to visit during this time of year. For many of us, the holidays are a time when we experience depression, loneliness and sadness - even when with family. How then can we navigate Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanza without our loved ones and still enjoy ourselves?

Making The Best Of The Situation

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for many reasons. Thanksgiving involves gratitude which I love. It also does not involve gift giving - so there is not a lot of financial stress over Thanksgiving, which is amazing. Thanksgiving involves cooking, eating and watching movies for me. The smell of a roasting turkey with stuffing in the oven, pies, whipped cream.....  it all makes my mouth water. Until I remember that my family is all going to be spread apart this Thanksgiving. However, planning and intent can change a situation that might end up being something really wonderful.

Days Of Holidays Past

I reminisce about Thanksgiving in Canada with my family. As soon as dinner was over the women would go and clear the table, getting coffee and dessert out. My oldest brother would disappear and fall asleep in someone's bed. He often over-eat, like Goldilocks find someone's soft bed to roll onto. He would go into a semi-coma after a big meal. I miss those days. It has been a long time since I enjoyed Thanksgiving in Canada with my family of origin.

A new Hartman Group study reveals that 46% of all adults eat alone. This growing trend shows a move towards a more solitary environment. One good thing about eating alone is that you won't get heartburn about what your mother, brother, sisters or brothers say to you over your meal. A peaceful candelight dinner for one can be enjoyable. Thanksgiving though, is another story. 

Traditional Thanksgiving Dinners

Buying a frozen dinner hoping it will substitute for a home-cooked meal will not thrill you. Even dining out alone in a restaurant doesn't sound exhilarating either. Here are some solutions for McDonalds, Jack In The Box and Taco Bell, Thanksgiving meals.

1. Find a local church that is doing a community dinner and join them.
2. Volunteer at a homeless shelter and bring a cooked turkey to add to the feast. This way, your home still smells like turkey and you will be contributing towards feeding the hungry. So it is a win-win for both sides.
3. Ask around in advance where your assistance could be needed at a church shelter or senior center. Warm bodies are always appreciated to serve with a smile. Helping out serves two purposes, you recognize what you have and you appreciate your life so much more. Giving back always makes you feel good!
4. Plan in advance so that you are not spending the whole day alone. Find a group to play games with or go for a walk with later in the day.
5. Take a spa vacation for two days. Pamper yourself by staying at a Hyatt or other plush hotel and treat yourself royally.
6. Play Christmas music that makes you feel good. 
7. Write Christmas cards and Thanksgiving cards and send them early to the ones you love. This old fashioned tradition is a lost art and will make you think of each person you won't see with a fondness. Put your heart into your message. Don't just sign your name.
8. Call those you miss and tell them you love them.
9. Watch movies that make you feel good. The happier the better. Laughter is good for the soul. Which is why I always watch National Lampoon Christmas Vacation every year, more than once.
10. Avoid drinking as it is a depressant. 
11. Buy some scented candles to make your home or apartment smell festive. 
12. Do things that you love and make you feel good. Treat yourself to special foods that you wouldn't normally cook. Like roasting a duck, or brussel sprouts.... something you really like.

Suggested Mirth in Movies

There are some really great holiday movies out that I recommend. Some are better than others and the ones I love best make me laugh and feel warm inside. These are the type I recommend for you.

1. National Lampoon Christmas Vacation - my family's favorite stupid Christmas movie. We watch it every year. It is a classic. A lot of laughs and Chevy Chase at his creative best.
2. Home For The Holidays. (1995) With Holly Hunter, Dylan McDermott, Anne Bancroft (full movie below)
3. The Holiday. With Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black. Even if you don't like Jack Black, this movie has many redeeming qualities, like the fact that it is set in the most beautiful part of England and LA. Yes, it involves love. A chick flick, but funny and sweet at the same time.
4. Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Steve Martin and Beloved Canadian actor, John Candy. This movie is hilarious and heart warming.
5. Scrooge. Bill Murray. 
6. The Santa Clause. Tim Allen. Although this could be construed as a kids movie, it is a happy, feel good movie. The kind you want to watch when you are all alone.
7. Dutch. Ed O'Neill. Thanksgiving movie. Ok. You might want to kill the kid at some point in the movie, but it gets better.
8. The Family Man. Nicolas Cage, Tea Leoni. Wealthy Wall Street trader, living the high life. His life is changed totally over night when he wakes up in suburbia married to his old girlfriend - with children. Great lessons, love over money. Happiness over the material. Funny, heartwarming.
9. Holiday Inn. Bing Crosby. Yes, it's old, but it's a feel good real Christmas movie.
10. How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Jim Carrey. 
11. Elf. Yes, it stars Will Ferrell, but wonderful warm and heart opening ending. Ed Asner plays Santa - well.
12. A Charlie Brown Christmas. Sweet and a tradition.
13. Home Alone. I couldn't leave this one off.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life, love and sex coach. Orgasm For Life can be found on Amazon. She also is wonderful at keeping you accountable, helping you focus, get organized and become empowered. Her early life was challenging. She struggled with low self esteem and codependency. Now Jennifer is a powerful, strong woman who empowers women and men to get to know, love and accept themselves. This is the source of true happiness. When we love ourselves, our capacity to love and experience JOY grows also. Jennifer can be reached through her private e-mail here: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com  or visit her website:

JenniferElizabethMasters.com You can become a part of her community on FaceBook here.

I have written a guest post for OBGYN retired, Dr. Don Ketterhagen. Here is the link:
The Keys To Happiness

7 Ways To Alleviate Post Holiday Blues

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Courtesy Mark Sisson

Feeling Post Holiday Blues?

Holidays can be a wonderful time of togetherness, love and acceptance. We rush around shopping, preparing and cooking. We bake and cook furiously, putting all our love and energy into our creations. Guests arrive in a rush of excitement. We share with open hearts and enjoy the fact that everyone loved what we created. We begin the clean up of dishes and move furniture back to its original place. Guests and family members leave. Afterwards, many people feel post holiday depression or a drop in their energy. Looking at holidays from a different perspective can help. Here are 7 ways to bust out of your post holiday blues.

1. Expectations

Maintaining a high state of energy all the time is not possible. We can't be floating at the top of the mountain all of the time. Even Masters have to trudge down the slope to be able to climb the next higher mountain. In everything there is an ebb and flow. The pendulum must swing both ways.

To think we could exist in a state of high without coming down at all is likened to an addict that wants to feel "high" all the time. Our body needs to slow down and rebuild after the excitement and high of a holiday. It isn't bad, or wrong, it just is. 

2. Enjoy The Beauty of Contrast

When we can be present with each moment, we enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy the preparations. Enjoy the guests and then enjoy the peace and quiet and rest. It is all just an experience. Each one is different from the next. 

If our relationships were perfect all the time, we would begin to take the perfection for granted. If guests were with us all the time, they would cease to be guests. We would not appreciate the newness of their presence and then their departure. The contrast is lovely. 

With conflict, anger and emotional release we see it for what it is. If we are sad all the time, we don't experience the other end of the spectrum, JOY. If we are happy all the time, we forget what it feels like to be sad. The contrast allows us to see the beauty in each moment. Revel in it, rather than long for the other end of the spectrum to return. The more you resist what is, the more you suffer. It is perfectly normal to feel sad when your loved ones leave. Allow yourself to feel it. Then let it go. 

3. Be Grateful For The Experience

Each experience teaches us something and has a gift and a lesson. Be grateful for each one. Then be open to receive more. The more grateful we are for each and everything in our lives, the more we open to receive more wonderment, more peace, more satisfaction and more success in all that we do. Even having a successful meditation, or a successful walk with our dog. Each event is an experience. Remember to be grateful for the experience it will open you to receive more.

4. Allow Your Emotions To Move

We are human which means we have a physical, emotional and a spiritual component to everything we do. Feeling is natural. Even crying is good for us, as it allows emotions to move rather than stagnate. Stress hormones are released when we cry, which reduces stress levels. This is healthy. 

Venting anger is also needed in a healthy way. Exercise, meditation, chanting, singing are all ways you can channel this energy in a healthy way. Primal screaming is another. If you haven't tried it, watch a 2-year old have a temper tantrum.  The stomp their feet, pound their arms and yell. Afterward you would think the event never happened. They have forgotten and fall asleep. Energy has moved out of their body and they feel better.

5. Being Present With What IS

Enjoying each moment as it presents itself is being present. When we only focus on the past and what we didn't do, or accomplish, our mistakes and the people who wrong us, we miss the perfection of the moment. We don't see the gift in the PRESENT. The same holds true for focusing endlessly on the future. If we focus most of our time, energy and attention on the future, we miss what is right in front of us. We are distracted by thoughts of what might never happen. 

6. Avoid Distraction

Distraction takes us away from the present moment where everything wonderful happens. We can distract ourselves with phone calls, fixing others, visitors, sex or work. The bottom line is that you have to enjoy being alone with you. If you don't, you don't love yourself. No matter what the distraction is you are still there, but not present in the moment. 

Distracting yourself is not a fix. Focus on you. Notice how you feel. If you get depressed after family and friends leave, sit with it. Revel in it. Cry if you have to. Then allow yourself to move on. 

7. Get Up And Move!

Put on some dance music and get up and dance. Move some energy through you. Physical activity is one of the quickest ways to move energy through your body. 

Kool and The Gang, Celebration

Queen, We Will Rock You

Here Comes The Sun, The Beatles, Flash Mob in Madrid