Finding True Love - Separation From Those That Aren't

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Everyone wants love. We want to be appreciated for who we are. We want to be respected and accepted and loved unconditionally. When those things are not in place, or we are asked to be something other than who we are, should we stay? (You might want to listen to this interview about loving, communication and how to heal conflict: The Janet Love Show: Interview with Jennifer Elizabeth Masters )

Are You A Committer?

Some of us are committers. We commit. We are committed before we even know the intentions of the other. We commit when we don't know the other person's character or personality. We commit before we are sure. We commit and stop dating others going as far as assuming the other person has committed to us also. Sometimes the people we attract are NEVER committed to us, in the same way we are to them. Some people cannot be faithful and don't bother trying. Lying and cheating is a character flaw. Don't assume that your love will change them. Get out while you still can. 


Co-dependent Seeking Any Kind of Love

Codependent people need to have someone in their life to feel complete. Many of us accept any kind of treatment, just to have a relationship. If a relationship makes you feel bad about yourself, or the other person is putting you down, this is not beneficial. A healthy relationship will enhance your life, rather than detract. Looking for the White Knight to come and rescue you is codependent thinking. You attract what you are. Take responsibility for your life. You are not a victim. You are powerful beyond measure.

Showing Up Wanting To Be Filled

If you feel like you have a hole inside you, and are looking for someone to fill it, you are putting a huge amount of pressure on someone else. This means you are showing up wanting another to MAKE YOU HAPPY. This is an impossible feat. No one other than YOU can make YOU happy. Instead of continuing to look for someone to fulfill you, go within Grasshopper. Turn your focus inside. Get to know, love and accept the beautiful person you are. When you love and accept ALL of yourself completely you will then attract another who is positive, loving, honest, in integrity like you. You can only attract what you are. So be the best you can be at being and loving you - first. 

Don't Want To Do Inner Work?

Don't like my advice? When we feel half full, or even empty we attract another who needs to be filled up. We attract people with low esteem, who could and most likely have all kinds of addictions. Addictions could be anything from alcoholism, drug abuse, shopping addiction, food addiction, work addiction, sex addiction to gambling addiction. When low self esteem is involved one party is usually the enabler, while the other is the addict. Addictions can involve deep seated anger, coupled with low self esteem which is a dangerous cocktail destined for emotional, and/or physical abuse. 

It Has To Begin With YOU!

From my personal experience, until I completely loved and accepted myself I attracted all of the above and then some. With each relationship, when we don't get our lesson, The Universe will send us more and more difficult and challenging relationships. It is like being hit over the head with a Jack-hammer. I had men who physically abused me, were addicted to work, alcohol and sports. Constantly trying to prove themselves with affairs, lying and cheating. I am a slow learner. I finally got it. I was attracting what I was emitting: low self esteemed partners with addictions. I was addicted to love, relationships and being rescued. AHA! Is this you?

Someone Wants You To Change

If someone expects you to be different than you are authentically, this is a huge red flag. It takes a lifetime of working on our integrity and character to be completely authentic. In the end, our integrity and authenticity is all we have. If someone does not love you for who you are, rip the band aid off now and leave. It will happen eventually, it might as well be now, it will be much less painful than later.

Continuing To Date Just To Have A Date?

There is nothing wrong with staying home by yourself. In fact, if you are dating people you know are wrong for you, it is better to stay at home. Sometimes we end up going out for drinks when we don't even drink. Our dates might be alcoholics or doing other things we don't feel comfortable with. If this is the case - JUST SAY NO! 

My Psychic Prediction

Any relationship, business partnership or friendship where you are being asked to be anything other than who you are will have you twisted up like a pretzel and held in bondage by the other person. True Love is all about acceptance. It is not about the other person telling you how to behave, or what you need to be doing all the time. A partnership does not hold one person hostage while the other does whatever the hell they choose to do without consulting you.

True Love

Following are the signs of real and true love. Not to be confused by infatuation. True love lasts. True Love does not put you down or try to change who you are. All relationships will eventually have conflict. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, or a perfect person. The truth of the matter is that there will be many more people available to you when you love and accept yourself completely. As a matter of fact, I have seen this time and time again, when you love yourself, the person you need to be with is standing right in front of you, and you didn't even have to go looking!

Real love is always there. Whether you are divorced from them, one of you dies, or you end up living apart, True Love is there forever. Death, distance, circumstance does not change true and real love. 

Characteristics Of Real or True Love

1. You feel comfortable, rather than awkward in their presence.
2. Conversation flows easily.
3. You are accepted for who you are.
4. You are accepted for what you think.
5. Your beliefs are your beliefs and you are allowed to think differently from your partner.
6. You would never dream of hurting or harming each other.
7. There is no jealousy.
8. You are both respected by one another.
9. You are able to ask for what you want without having to manipulate to get it.
10. You are just as strong on your own as you are together. 
11. Your love enhances your life rather than detracts from it.
12. You Bless each other rather than put each other down.

What Is Your Mission and Purpose In Life?

When we are codependent our mission is to find love. The problem with this thinking is that we are empty inside looking for someone else to fill a deep chasm. Following are important points to focus on to help you get out of codependency and begin to feel whole and complete. Loving and accepting yourself  as you are, rather than looking to be perfect is the first step. 

Purification

It is time to clean up your life and thoughts. Sage your brain, sage your home. Sage your car. Train your brain to be positive. Don't have arguments in your home, as the energy stays there and is absorbed by all the soft furnishings you own. If you get divorced, you don't want to drag your bed, couch and pillows with you. Get rid of them. Clean up your energy by letting go of the things that have sad memories attached to them.

Answer The Following Questions:

1. Where did I come from?
2. Who am I? (child of God, Divine being)
3. What is my purpose here? 
4. How Can I Serve? Giving back to the earth, humanity, your community, unwed mothers, teens without parents....

Chanting

In my home, I leave Pandora on all day with chanting. Deva Premal has some beautiful chanting music. This energy purifies your home. It will make it more harmonious for you. When you have harmony inside you, there will be harmony outside you as well.

1. Your thoughts create. Make sure what comes out of your brain and mouth are positive. Positive thoughts create positive outcomes, negative thoughts create negative outcomes. You are more powerful than you know. Think of each thought or word being broadcast out into The Universe with a huge megaphone and you are a holding a huge magnet. Your thoughts broadcast on broadband Internet all over the Universe and are magnetized right back to you. If you think bad things will happen they will. If you doubt that you will ever be successful and that the only luck you have is bad luck than that is true for you too. That is why you have shit in your life. This

   

   Yes it is SHIT! 

   is why circumstances that come to you are piles of shit coated crap. Your thoughts have to be pristine, positive and happy. 
2. No matter what happens in your life - you are the cause. Instead of blaming others for what is going on, look inside. What are you feeling, thinking or saying that created this? 
3. FORGIVE EVERYONE AND YOURSELF! Each event that happens in your life is for your good and is here to evolve your soul. Letting go of past hurts and forgiving is for you. 
4. Love Everyone! Each of us is part of the whole. You are connected to everyone around you. We all originated from the same DNA, the same molecules. Having hatred for anyone means you hate yourself. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is authentic, whole, complete, loving and caring. She is the author of Orgasm For Life. The Sex Bible for the New Age. Her work is transformative. She works with those committed to live happy, powerful lives in authenticity and joy. If you are ready to live a life of peace, serenity, joy, bliss and happiness, you might want to give Jennifer a call. Or better yet, e-mail her here and set up an appointment for a private session to find out if you are a good fit to work together. This is a joint venture. You are in control of your destiny, Jennifer just helps you light your path. 

Jennifer is facilitating a workshop with The Love Doctor - Shaneetha Akinlana. Together they have well over 80 years of experience, knowledge, wisdom and information in Metaphysics, manifestation. Hard to believe the age that Shaneetha is. She looks 20 years younger than she is! Each has experienced their own Twin Flame love and lives to tell about it. They are funny, loving, compassionate and wise. They are sharing all their hard earned wisdom that they learned through life and love. They will challenge you to be the best darn lover out there.  

This workshop will be held in November to assist, empower and enlighten those dedicated to finding their True Love. This work will bring love to you. You will be taught everything you need to know to manifest love in your life. Of course, loving yourself is the foundation for creating love in your life. Energy clearings, wisdom of The Ages will be taught, along with Universal Principles. 
Her website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Why Women Are Leaving Long-Term Marriages

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters



Women more than men are asking for a divorce after 20, 25 and 30 years of marriage. Why would someone who has obviously stuck through thick and thin for all those years suddenly decide she has had enough? 

FACT: Women file for divorce 2/3 of the time.

FACT: Throughout the 19th Century 60% of divorce filings were initiated by women.

These statistics are telling. It is why I wrote Orgasm For Life. Women are unhappy and their men have no idea. 

The Janet Love Show: Interview Healing Sexual Trauma

In the process of writing Orgasm For Life, I researched, for months. I did my own statistical analysis and interviewed hundreds of people. Of the people I interviewed, many were in long-term marriages. Those who were having fun together in AND out of their bedrooms were the ones, committed and connected. Their relationships were tight. They usually have a deep connection with each other AND a shared Spiritual connection. They were not interested in affairs. The women were happy with their sexual partners and satisfied, because they felt loved and appreciated. They also had orgasms as often as their mate did. They both were able to discuss sex openly within their relationship and ask for what they wanted.

Reasons Women Leave Their Husbands

1. She has given all her life to others and has lost herself. 
2. She is dissatisfied with sex.
3. She feels unappreciated.
4. She doesn't feel loved.
5. She doesn't love herself. 
6. You have left the toilet seat up one too many times and they have had enough of being ignored, invalidated or put down.
7. She doesn't accept herself as she is and is constantly trying to change you. She may be tired of you not being what she thinks she wants you to be.
8. She recognizes that she can't control you, so will go and find someone else they THINK they can change or control.
9. She feels she has no purpose and feels lost. (Children are grown, they have no mission or soul purpose.)
10. There may be abuse or boundaries that are crossed. Controlling and jealous men can lead women to seek someone who will not control them or be fearful of them looking elsewhere.

Reasons Women Get Married

1. They think they are in love. (Some truly are in love, but not all.) Sex releases hormones which make you FEEL you are in love.
2. They feel that is the right thing to do.
3. It feels like the next step - and what society expects of them.
4. They hear their clock ticking and feel it is TIME!
5. They want to have babies (this is not true of many child-bearing women today.)
6. They are not happy with life and feel that marriage will fill that void.
7. They are looking for happiness outside of themselves.
8. They have always dreamed of a big wedding and feel that having this BIG WEDDING will make them happy.
9. At a certain point in their relationship they decide it is time to take it to the next step: often pressuring their man into marriage when he is not ready.
10. They feel lonely, empty, unfulfilled and look for these things outside of themselves, in a relationship/marriage.(Often women get married because they have an emptiness inside and feel are lonely, or because they think they should get married. They don't love themselves and continue to look for validation and often get re-married immediately). Statistically, second, third and fourth marriages don't last.

When women look to marriage to solve their loneliness, unhappiness or unfulfillment, eventually they will come to recognize that the marriage didn't do it for them. When this happens they often make their husband the enemy. They make their man wrong. Blame figures prominently in this situation. Women (and men) are not victims. They are left with a hole that is gaping and still empty. Having someone love you when you don't love yourself, eventually comes up short. Often you don't even feel the love because you are so closed off and shut down emotionally. You refuse to allow love in after a while. You shut down your heart and resist the good. 

Issues Of Sex

One of the complaints I hear most often is that the men have HTP, (come too quickly). When the man comes too quickly, the woman does not have enough time to become aroused, never mind come to orgasm. Many women are not being satisfied by their husbands. After years of marriage, sex has become truncated and cursory. There is often no kissing or eye contact in their relationships. In these marriages, after 25 and 30 years, women have had enough and are looking for passion, fiery encounters, and orgasms. 


We Need Good Positive Communication

Communication verbal and non-verbal often becomes adversarial. In other words, communication constantly contains conflict, eye rolling and arguments.

Are You Listening?

Men have a tendency to think that women talk too much, often about things that don't matter. After years of hearing us talk, talk talk, men often shut their women out, ignoring them and pretending to listen. Women feel this and it bugs us. If we don't get attention from you, we will get it somewhere else. When you ignore your woman as a matter of course, you run the risk of losing her to someone who pays attention. 

Daily Drudgery

Long-term marriage involves work. Not just work on the relationship, but work outside the home. Routines can become boring. Life becomes dull. We have to work at keeping love alive and passion in the bedroom. There are ways to do this and I detail many of them in my book. Reading erotica together, playing a board game that involves risk taking and clothes coming off, rather than routine hum-drum sex can make a huge difference. Touch each other outside the bedroom. Look at one another when you talk and listen intently, rather than focus on your cell phone or multi-tasking.

Don't Screw Around On Each Other!

Women are instinctual creatures. We have a sixth sense. Nature provided us with this naturally so that we could tell when our babies were in trouble. We sense things that many people don't. Women are intuitive. This intuition also lets us know when you have been fooling around with your secretary, or tennis buddy. We know when you had sex with your best friend's wife on your recent visit. Yup, we know! So don't try to fool us. We are feeling creatures that sense the unspoken. We know when you have had affairs. Don't think you can get away with having an affair. It will come out sooner or later. An affair is not the answer. Love is the answer. If you are considering having an affair ask the following questions:

1. What do I hope to gain that I am not getting from marriage?
2. Will this help my marriage or hurt it?
3. Am I prepared for my marriage to be over?

It is impossible to keep an affair a secret. It will come out. A receipt will fall out of a closet, a scent will be left on clothes, or there will be a tell on your face or voice. Do not think you can hide an affair. If you cheat on your spouse, you are also lying to yourself. If you must have sex with someone else, get divorced first. Be in integrity, it is the only thing that you have at the end of this life.


Adventures in Life
To make your marriage more exciting there are many things you can do. Take a day trip out to a place you have thought about for years. Pack a picnic lunch, maybe even stay overnight. Do something spur of the moment, rather than plan ahead. When we do things spontaneously the whole

event takes on a different hue. Get off your couch and live a little. Change up your routine and make love in the shower, or on the stairs, or in your car. Or maybe just drive into the city and book a hotel on a whim! Use your imagination. You might save your marriage and in the process save your life. Married people live longer, are healthier and have sex more often.

Other Related Articles:

The Sexless Marriage

Competition In Your Relationship

Women Only THINK They Know What They Want

Can You Live Without Affection?

Better Love Better Sex Show: With Devi Ward and Jennifer

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life, love and sex coach. She is insightful, gifted and direct. She works with those committed to grow and find themselves. She helps men and women find the happiness within. Life becomes a joy rather than drudgery. If you feel life is a drag rather than a joy, perhaps a free session with Jennifer will reveal the ways that you can find the joy and love in life, rather than feeling lonely and empty forever. Jennifer has overcome her own negativity, judgment and criticism. She lived in physical pain as well as emotional pain and illness for over 30 years. Now she has no pain, and is about to celebrate her 60th birthday in JOY! In honor of her birthday she is offering 5 people a free one hour session for those committed to heal. Contact her HERE! There are only 5 spots for a free one-hour session. These will not last long. E-mail her now!