Baseball, hockey, football, lacrosse, soccer are all competitive sports. A relationship is not one of them.
Competing for hierarchical position, who is most loved by children, in-laws or others, destroys a relationship. Competition is a lower egoic construct and has no place in a loving relationship.
- Take Responsibility. Recognize if you have a reaction, it is YOURS. Take responsibility for your reaction, rather than BLAME your partner.
- Go inside and see why you feel compelled to put your partner down?
- What about your relationship makes you feel good? Write down why you want to stay in this relationship. When you recognize that you are on the road to destroying your relationship, you have several choices. Stay, go, continue to fight. Which do you want?
- Write down all the good things about your partner.
- Begin to appreciate the things that your partner does for you. Tell them thank you.
- Spend some time each day telling each other what you appreciate in them.
- Take some interest in what your partner is doing, rather than attempting to show them up by doing or bragging about how much MORE you have done.
- Write down what makes you feel afraid of being in this relationship.
- Talk to your partner about making some powerful changes within the way you relate.
- Consider hiring a coach who can help you with communication issues, or a therapist.
- Get some help. Changing the paradigm within a relationship takes work, structure and mutual desire to make it work.