By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Most of us are our own worst critic. We focus on the little bulge around our middle, our crows feet or other imperfections. It is amazing how letting go of trying to be perfect will take years off your face. You begin to look softer, younger and certainly more radiant.
When we focus on our negative traits, we create acidity in our body. We worry, become uptight, rather than relaxed about life. Our anxiety over the small details not being perfect change everything we eat into acid. Even our thoughts are acidic. Acidity creates disease. Cancer and other diseases thrive in an acid environment.
To be able to love yourself, you have to let go of a few things. When we recognize that it's okay that we aren't perfect, there is only one being that fits that bill, and it ain't us! We can relax a little more. We can be the best mom we can be, without having to be perfect.We can be the best life coach we can be without having to be perfect.
I will tell you a little story........ I used to try to be perfect. I used to look to others to validate me, especially my parents, even into adulthood. When I realized that others do not create my self worth, I do, I let go of trying to please anyone else but myself. It does not mean I am selfish, I just don't have to be liked by you, to love myself. I'm okay with that. Not everyone is going to like someone like me. I might push buttons, make you cry by being near you. That could make you feel uncomfortable.
I let go of looking to others for my self worth. I look within instead. I know I am loved. I have a deep connection with The Divine inside me. I feel deeply connected to nature, all the time. This connection fills me up. I don't feel empty or lonely - ever. That changed for me in 2012. I know I am never, ever alone. I know I am always loved. I love and accept all parts of myself - even though I have faults. I don't have to be perfect to love me. I have come to accept myself as I am, without trying to change me. It also means I don't attempt to CHANGE OTHERS either. That is what unconditional love is. TO LOVE NO MATTER WHAT. Love is not based on good behavior.
When my oldest son and his girlfriend were going through a difficult time, they lived with us for a while. Klarissa was a sweet and beautiful young woman, but had very low self esteem. She agreed to help me with my website (my old one). She was extremely creative and gifted in many ways. When she wanted my feedback, she found my ADD distracting. Yes, I have the innate ability to focus on 10 things at one time..... maybe not effectively, but I am easily distracted and I have to work very diligently to stay on point, focused and complete a task. Amazing isn't it that I have written two books and have created so many blogs? It still surprises me at times. Some of my blogs may be very focused and to the point, where others tend to wander a little. I have let go of the perfectionism.
Klarissa said to me at one point when she was working with me, "You may find your ADD cute, but it is very distracting!" What she failed to understand, is that I had embraced my imperfection. I knew I had ADD, but I loved that part of me anyway. Instead of trying to excise it off me, like cutting off an arm (which would be excruciatingly painful..... I loved that imperfection.) I had to work diligently to focus on one thing at t time and complete it. When I return e-mails I can fixate on one thing, and skip over (or look like I ignored) other questions. I had to explain that I was not trying to be cute with her, but instead I was being loving and accepting of my faults. I had work diligently to stop bashing myself for those things that didn't smell so good, or that weren't absolutely pristine and beautiful. I let go of trying to be perfect. I softened my gaze towards myself. I dropped the proverbial baseball bat and magnifying glass.
Most people focus on their faults and make them bigger than they are. When you begin to love your faults, they become less of an issue. You learn to adapt, or work around those things, like a fear of numbers (which I used to have). I cleared those issues and feel better about them.
Softening your gaze when you look at yourself can be as simple as to stop being such a tough task master for YOU! Look at yourself as if you were a newborn infant. You would not beat up a newborn for crying, or pooping in it's diaper would you? Of course not! So stop beating yourself up love those little idiosyncrasies that you have. We all have them. Stop worrying about what others think about you. It is none of your business anyway.
When you relax and let go of the perfection, you will become more radiant, look younger, more beautiful and live with less pain in your body. Most people think I am 20 years younger than I am.... tally up the age of my kids, you can think I started my family at 14, but I was a little older than that!
Remember you are beautiful. You are worthy. You are love. Love all of you. Accept all of you. Stop beating yourself up with that baseball bat. Stop looking at yourself under the magnifying glass. No one looks very good under the scrutiny of a magnifier.
When we look outside of ourselves for love and acceptance, we will never find it. When we look outside of ourselves for happiness, we will never find permanent or lasting happiness. We may find it for a short while, but it will not last, because our self criticism will show up. We will judge, beat up and scrutinize every detail and beat it up till it dies.
True radiance comes from radiating the love that you are from within. Join me in radiating your inner beauty and looking 20 years younger than we are, live life in joy today. Set up a time to meet with me so you can begin to soften your gaze and love you. If not now, WHEN?
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a catalyst for healing and growth. She is the author of Orgasm For Life, a book to help you live yours with passion. She is also a certified life coach, Intuitive, hypnotherapist and Neurolinguistic Programming Practitioner. She assists others to love themselves, using the tools she created while learning how to love herself and overcome addiction, trauma and self hatred. In the process of healing herself she also healed insomnia, depression, Fibromyalgia, Epstein Barr syndrome and other pains in her body. She is almost _____ and lives pain free!
Contact Jennifer about your FREE 30 minute discovery session to find out if you are a good fit for her program. Not everyone is. You have to be committed to heal, to feel better and to want to be happy!