As an observer of life, I watch men and women. I watch couples interact as well as single people. Recently, I have been astounded at the absence of mindfulness in the men I have encountered. Two men I encountered, let doors slam in my face as I entered the buildings after them. I talked to those men and this is what I found.
- Breathe Deeply. The fastest way to get back into your body and get grounded is to breathe deeply. Most people are barely breathing. When you breathe shallowly, you are not affirming life. Affirm life. Breathe in slowly. Exhale slowly and completely. Feel the aliveness in your body when you do. There is nothing to be afraid of. This is you. Breathe in the love. Breathe in the present. Breathe in life.
- Silence. Sit is complete silence twice a day beginning with 10 minutes. You don't have to sit in the Lotus position, cross-legged. Sit up straight. Breathe. Turn your eyes upward towards the ceiling to shut down the mind chatter. Then close them. With your eyelids shut, turn your eyeballs upwards towards your hair line. This will keep your mind quiet. Shut off your television. Shut off your cell phone. "Oh my God! Shut off the cell phone, what if someone wants to reach me?" They will call back or leave a message. It is okay. Many people are afraid to be alone with themselves in quiet. I promise you, your life will improve when you begin to revel in the silence every day.
- Connect. Go outside, walk out in nature. Connect with the earth. Nature, plants, trees, birds will help you recognize your does. Trees have a consciousness and will communicate with you. They love it when we talk to them. Sounds crazy? I certainly don't care what others think of me, you shouldn't either.
- Notice. Begin to notice what you are thinking, saying and feeling. This is called raising your awareness. Do your best to stay positive, think positively. As with anything new, it takes practice to train your brain to be positive. When you do it
- Feel Your Feelings Fully. Most of us try to run away from our feelings. We do this with exercise, work, sex, alcohol, drugs, spending and food. Running away from our feelings keeps us stuck in denial and trapped in the past. We have to feel our feelings fully, sitting with what we have coming up and allow the feelings to pass through us. Running away is avoidance of reality, life and what is. I know I did this for years. I was an expert at avoidance. You cannot be fully present for sex, love or any part of a relationship if you cannot be present with yourself and feel fully.