Yesterday, I spent the day in Los Angeles. I currently live about 80 miles away. It is always a nice change of pace to go into the big city, feel the excitement and to get my hair done. My stylist is a spiritually evolved wise man about my age. He trained with Vidal Sassoon and taught in his studio many years. Of course, we talked about sex.
- Listen. Most dating men get bored with a women talking. They want to get down to brass tacks. May I remind you that this woman could be home masturbating and having a better time, so be interested in what she is saying. Get to know her.
- Friends First. Without friendship, there is little point in a relationship. Beginning a relationship with sex gets you off on the wrong foot (even though that is the goal of most men).
- Romance. Most women want to be romanced. Sex begins in the mind. Women don't usually get turned on seeing a naked man with an erect penis. If our mind isn't turned on first, forget it.
- Kiss. Kissing is the precursor to sex. A great kiss can be the shoe in - or a door opener. A kiss tells a woman a lot about the man she is considering bedding. If you are a sloppy kisser, you are probably lousy in the sack. Learn to keep your tongue in your mouth. Kiss with your lips. Go slow. I remember the worst kiss I ever had - a man that I had not even considered dating leaped at me tongue hanging out and slurped at me like a Saint Bernard. I could not get him out of my car fast enough. I was not interested in him in a physical way. I was kind, compassionate - but that was all. Which leads me to the next key point!
- Read The Signs. Men tend to think women think and feel like they do. We don't. Treat her like a woman. Open her door, be a gentleman. Watch her face. Notice if she makes a lot of eye contact or looks at you. She may begin touching your hand, or shoulder. If she does, she is interested. If she is looking elsewhere most of the time, take her home! She is not interested. Make sure you are paying attention to her, watching her signals and signs.
- Touch. A hand held, or an arm through yours while walking is one thing. Take care not to overdo touch. There is nothing worse than having a man fawn all over you, when you are not the least bit interested. Don't touch her. Let her touch you. If she doesn't, that is a clear sign she isn't interested. I have been to dinner with men who have petted me like I was a cat - complete turn off!
- Passion. When a connection has been made sex can be instantaneous. Remember my post about reconnecting with a man I knew 40 years ago? We had an instantaneous connection even though 40 years had passed. All it takes is a moment. Passion cannot be faked. Even dancing in the dark can be passionate. Ask Bruce!