Tuesday, June 30, 2015

How To Tell If He Loves You Or Just Wants to Get Laid

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

This past weekend I spent some one-on-one time with a man I had a deep, connected love affair with 40 years ago. I will share with you what I learned about men who love you. He knows I am writing about him. Out of my respect for him and myself, you will have to read between the lines. I am open to sharing my personal discovery and growth, however, those deepest and most private secrets I keep between my lover and me. Read my book though, for a glimpse of what a sexy, connected, intimate relationship needs to stay that way.

Do you wonder if there is potential for something greater? I will talk about potentialities at the end of this article. As a healer, I witness what is going on for myself and others. I stay present with conversations, observing my own actions as well as my partner's. Loving without attachment is the goal. 

Loving Without Attachment?

When you live your life fully you will find that nothing is permanent. You may have commitment or marriage, but people change, sometimes growing apart rather than together and a relationship no longer supports either party. Death too can come and remove your partner from your life. Loving, in the moment with a focus on the love, rather than owning, possessing, controlling, manipulating or keeping someone is non-attachment. 

When we no longer look for someone to fill a void in ourselves, we can live and love with non-attachment. Having a partner when we love ourselves completely then enhances your life, but you don't NEED to have someone to feel content, happy or fulfilled. Having love for ourselves first ensures the best success in our relationships because we don't need to change or fix our partners.

These are 12 ways to know he loves you and is NOT just interested in getting laid.

1. He buys you your favorite bubble bath from Germany. He remembers you love Badedas that is only available in Germany or German stores. He knows what you like and don't like. He watches you and puts those discoveries in his little memory bank. Then he runs you a hot bath at the end of a long, challenging day and sits with you listening to your concerns.

2. He has personal details about your life stowed away in his phone. He takes an interest in your children, your life and your interests. If he can't remember those details, he writes them down. When using his GPS you might find those details under your personal contact information. SWEET!

3. He wants to shower with you daily to make sure you are squeaky clean! He uses a natural bristle brush all over because he knows you are a health nut. He wants to touch you and uses the shower as a great way to do so. It begins or ends your day in a beautiful connected way. He takes great care to make sure you are clean all over. He lovingly washes your hair (when you have time.) Taking a daily shower together connects you. Rather than rushing off in your separate directions without touch, you begin your day with love.

4. He attends your family gatherings without complaint. Family gatherings can be difficult for us. For a partner, they can be excruciating! Be appreciative of his ability to keep his comments to himself about your drunken or critical relatives.

5. He drives you up the sidewalk under the overhang so that your hair doesn't get ruined before an event. He holds the umbrella over you to protect your hair in the rain. A man who loves you won't allow you to walk across the parking lot in the rain to do your shopping or errands before a wedding or big event. He knows how important our hair is to us. He might also drop you at the door. 

6. He calls you on your crap when you head in a direction with your thoughts that aren't productive. When a heart attack occurs, we can be thinking the worst. Your loving partner will steer you back into the light where you belong.

7. He asks for your opinion about his outfit. A man who loves you wants you to feel proud to be with him. A man who does not, won't give a crap about how he dresses or whether you like or don't like what he is wearing.

8. A man who loves you will want to make sure you have as good a time in bed as he does. He will ask you questions, without concern for his ego. He will change positions, get creative and do what you like.

9. A man who loves you talks to you after sex, instead of rolling over and going to sleep. The afterglow is a wonderful time for deep intimate conversations to occur. 

10. A man who loves you will listen to you. You will know that he is listening because he shows up with the exact wine you like, or the flowers you love. If someone isn't listening to you, they are just taking up space.

11. He asks you questions about how you feel. "Are you okay?" It may be after a sweaty love-making session or a long journey. Someone who is concerned about your well-being is a keeper (at least for now). 

12. He wants you to know he is well-established and can support you. Even when we have our own career, a man who loves you wants you to know he is a person of substance, stability, and a go-getter. He wants you to want to be with him as much as he wants to be with you.

13. He is proud to be with you. He is strong enough to recognize your beauty, strength and power, without feeling diminished by you. 

14. He respects you and your opinion. Even if he doesn't agree, he allows you your own thoughts and opinions. He is respectful rather than degrading. He boosts you up, rather than tearing you down. He is your rock, your support as well as your biggest fan. 

Keeping A Relationship Alive and Thriving

Marriage should never be the goal in a relationship. Love is the goal. Always bring your thoughts back to loving acceptance. I have healers and clients alike who come to me, "I think he is the one!" They chase a man, rather than allowing things to unfold naturally.
If a partnership is destined for success, take your hands off the reins and ride bareback. Squeeze your knees a little more to support yourself. Before long the two of you will be riding like the wind if it is meant to be.

Focus on the love, rather than creating judgment about who this person is, or isn't. Having no expectations of the other allows them to be who they are, which sets your relationship up for success and personal freedom. When we attempt to control another, we take away their freedom to be who they are. We think we know better than they do what is best for them (which is not true). Too often we expect our partners to do, be or act a certain way or be what we want. Each person has their own free will. Expectations set a relationship up for failure, rather than success. Return to the love, you will never go wrong.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, hypnotherapist, energy healer, Intuitive catalyst, an ordained minister and host of the ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE radio show on BBM GLOBAL. She is writing her third book and doing limited coaching sessions at the moment. If you are interested in going deeper than you have ever gone before, are committed to your personal growth, can make decisions in the moment, want to open to the love that you are and reach your unlimited potential, e-mail Jennifer for a FREE 30 minute discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

Monday, June 29, 2015

Love Affair: As Serious As A Heart-Attack

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Part II

My navigation system had me driving in circles for over 30 minutes. After my third circuit traveling on the same stretch of road, I asked why I kept going in circles? Then I recognized the symbolism. I realized I had just come full circle. This weekend was as if we stepped back in time. Our faces and bodies looked different. We had many more experiences. I wondered how much he had learned. What would be different, would we still enjoy each other? How much had each of us changed? I would find out very soon. I finally recognized the symbolism and was able to make my way to the off-site airport parking lot. I parked my car and took the bus to the LA airport. 

Outside the terminal, a throng of people filled the sidewalk spilling over onto the road in front of the building. No one was allowed to enter. The entire terminal building was evacuated before I got a chance to check in. 

An abandoned bag threatened the safety of travelers and was subsequently blown up inside the building by TSA security. I doubt it ever made the news. I had visions of newly purchased Victoria Secret lingerie flying through the air. When the dust settled, and the dangerous lingerie had been terminated, we were permitted to check in. An interesting foretelling of what was to come. Fortunately, I had allowed extra time. I was going to need it today, the lines were long, snaking through the International terminal. 

My flight to Toronto was uneventful except for a little turbulence over the Colorado Rockies. I waited an hour and a half for my luggage to arrive. A mechanical in our baggage compartment meant our luggage traveled on another plane. I wondered about everyone’s personal baggage. Was theirs lagging behind them also?

After clearing custom’s and Immigration, I walked outside scanning the waiting crowd for my wedding date. I turned around at the end of the ramp where I found him smiling at me. He asked me about my eyesight, “Didn’t you see me, you looked right at me?” He took my bags, rather than allow me to struggle with them on my own. This was a departure from other men I had in my life. Many men make the mistake of thinking strong women don't want help. Even the strongest of people need assistance at times. I recognized the difference. 

We chatted as we walked to his car, catching up on my trip, and my family’s invitation for dinner. The wedding marathon weekend had begun. A quiet cup of tea and some downtime with my date to catch my breath and talk would have to wait. Instead, we drove to my niece’s home to attend a dinner for the entire wedding party. 

Two and a half hours later we arrived at his new home. I was given the royal tour. His fridge was loaded with all my favorite food and drink. He listened to me. If I asked a question, he answered. I felt welcome, cared for and revered. He was glad to have me semi-captive. The fire was still present, even though 40 years had passed. Our compatibility and comfort with each other eased both our minds. Our conversation was as open and easy as it always was. My memory of past events seemed to be more vivid than his. Perhaps it was his feeling of regret? He asserted breaking up with me was not a stellar moment from him. He had regretted it ever since. 

From the time I set foot on Canadian soil, there was a flurry of activity, driving from one family gathering to another. We visited my mother outside Toronto on Friday afternoon, returning the following day to escort her to the wedding. My date was a planner, ensuring all the details were taken care of, outfits ready for the wedding. Cufflinks were purchased. He wanted everything to be taken care of in advance. He made every effort to accommodate my wishes and requests. We dressed and drove with my mother to the wedding.

Our history together created a foundation for us. We had a past, even though it was long ago. We reminisced about Air Canada flying, our children, people, and places. My family remembered him. The wedding was beautiful, even on a rainy day. The rain reminded me that nothing is perfect, no matter how hard we might try. Rain on a wedding day meant a contingency plan, we were inside instead of outside in the beautiful pastoral setting. My mother complained about the noise. I recommended that she remove her hearing aids. She refused. She continued to complain about the noise. I have a theory if someone complains but won’t do anything about their situation, there is little you can do to help them. Things will assuredly become worse for them. It is a desire to suffer that causes increased suffering.

My date and I worked together on the wedding games provided, keeping an eye on my mother. I watched her grimacing as the evening wore on. I suggested a trip to a quiet corner so she and I could talk. By about 8:30 PM my mother complained about a pain in her chest. The right side of her chest hurt, rather than left side. The groom walked by and asked us if everything was okay. I explained. He suggested his groomsman who was a paramedic stop by and talk to her. I welcomed his help. We both learned that the symptoms of a heart attack for an older woman were vastly different than for a younger one. He asked many questions and closed with, “It’s hard to tell without tests.” 

Not long after the groomsman spoke to us, we began to say good-bye and prepare to leave. The rain continued to fall. A quick walk to the car exacerbated my mother’s condition. Half-way to her home, she suggested we go to the hospital.

Our hearts are meant to love. If we shut our hearts down, whether from a broken heart or a traumatic event, the blocked energy will inevitably create issues. My mother never recovered from being an orphan at 5. She continued to tell her story to anyone who would listen. It governed her spending. “I didn’t have anything when I was a child.” At 93 she was still compensating for love unrelieved as a child by buying herself clothes. She looked lovely on the outside, but her heart was closed and cold. Her heart was called her to let go of the pain. She was so stuck in her paradigm of suffering, it was unfathomable for her.

At the end of this beautiful representation of mutual love - Sarah and Trevor’s beautiful wedding, we found ourselves in the emergency ward. Two hearts joined together in holy matrimony, one heart blocked, in constant pain. By 3:30 AM we were home knowing my mother would be undergoing surgery for a pace-maker and angioplasty. A make-shift fix for her broken heart that never healed. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, empowering women and men to love themselves fearlessly. She is a certified coach, ordained minister, certified hypnotherapist, Master energy healer and reads the Akashic Records. Jennifer's work is unlike any other coach. She works with you where you are, and does what you need doing in the moment. She helps women and men live empowered, happy lives, in the present moment. 

Check out her bio on her website for more information about how she healed her own depression, anxiety, codependency, fears, low self-esteem and can help you do the same.

For your FREE discovery session of 30 minutes, send Jennifer an e-mail. 

Sunday, June 28, 2015

My Wedding Date: Rekindling A Love Affair

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

How long can one hold onto past hurt? As long as we choose to ignore it. We have to sit in the feeling of sadness, rejection or pain, let it go, releasing the pain, sorrow and grief to move on. We have to consciously let go. It is not just a matter of thinking, “I let you go.” We have to move the energy of our emotions.

Our pain and emotions surrounding past events don’t disappear. They take a nose dive, deep within us, like a Kamikaze plane. Those feelings go down in flames and continue to burn, eating away at us, from a faraway place. Surfacing only when a similar situation triggers an emotional reaction from us. 

When we return to a past event, by meeting someone from our past, being emotionally triggered by a similar event, or think back do they begin to be revealed. Of course, we have to be honest and not avoid the truth to recognize what is present within us. We have to forgive, both ourselves and the other people we feel hurt us to release the past hurt and stuck emotions.

What happens if we don’t? I wondered that myself recently. I had the opportunity to re-connect with a man I had a deep, powerful, intimate connection with 40 years ago. Our love affair ended abruptly when I crossed boundaries that he revealed to me in advance. It was so long ago, I don’t remember if I was challenged by his line in the sand, or if it was because I lacked personal boundaries of my own at that time. People who lack healthy boundaries often cross other people’s. In my twenties if someone told me not to do something, I did exactly what I was asked not to do. Knowing the rebel I was in my younger days, I don’t doubt that I wanted to test him. “Prove to me how much you love me!” Well, how did that work out for me? Not so great. Need to be caught up on this story? Read my blog: A Kiss And Affair That Stopped Time.

As soon as I did what he asked me not to do, he terminated our relationship. I was in shock. His response floored me. I did not expect him to leave me. What we had was hot, fun and adventurous. We met while working as flight attendants for Air Canada. Fast forward to today. Fast forward to today.

The One That Got Away

I don’t know about you, but I often go back in my mind to my torrid love affairs and wonder about what might have been? What was good about one man, what I didn’t like about another. I drifted over my sexual experiences in early 2014, when I wrote Orgasm For Life. My memories of my sexual encounters are very clear. Like watching a movie in my mind. One man resurfaced repeatedly. I wrote about our experiences in my second book, Orgasm For Life in several chapters. I hazily remembered our travels, the lamb and pomme frits (home made French fries) we enjoyed in Belgium, the cafes, and wild sex under the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 

Was it the rush of excitement that we experienced because it was forbidden love? Or was it a deeper sense that of all the partners we have had, was there something greater, more connection than passion? We thought about each other for 40 years. I would hear what he was up to from my long-time friend Joan who was still flying for Air Canada. He asked for my e-mail, and I offered a weak, “I guess so.” Forty years is a long time to wonder wistfully about what might have been. The one he let get away. The one I pushed away. As a healer and a mystic, going deep within is part of my daily life. I am not afraid to process pain, emotions or the past. In fact, I have done it so much, that I have wondered how much could be left to “process?” Plenty it seems. 

After Christmas, this past year, I visited my homeland - Canada. I spent time with my family of origin. On the very last day of my week-long visit, I had a rendezvous with my old flame. We met ostensibly for coffee, although he never ordered one. He talked for hours while I listened. Sitting in the donut shop near my mother;s home, he talked about his new home sitting close enough that his knees engulfed mine. It didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. My response was not to shrink back or to push him away. I was mesmerized by the feelings that never left. He connected with me while he spoke I was surprised that my old feelings surfaced automatically. I didn’t do anything. In fact, I almost canceled our meeting because I went into judgment about his perceived lack of interest. He didn’t respond in a timely enough manner for me and I almost blew off our meeting. How often do we judge others and say no, and miss out on something life changing?

Being Called Out On My Crap

My daughter, called me on my crap, telling me that I didn’t give him a chance. She noted that I immediately came up with excuses as to why he wasn't good for me. At first, it didn’t seem true. Whenever someone makes an observation about my actions or behavior, I take the time to look at what they noticed. I go inside and feel what is coming up for me. I sit with my feelings. In life, there is not much that scares me anymore. No one likes to have their heart broken. Shutting our heart down can close us off to our opportunities. Even married people close their hearts to their spouse after they are hurt by them.

What does scare me is my fear of having my heart broken again. When this man and I were making love under the Eiffel Tower and in hotel rooms all across Europe, I had no such fear. I was open. I had not been hurt profoundly. My heart had not been crushed by a man. We were wild, open and adventurous together. Perhaps I had the need to test his love for me. Maybe I was daring him to leave me by my actions. It has taken 40 years to get my questions answered. Tonight, in Toronto, we shall meet again. That might have been that last of him, had it not been for my mother’s suggestion, “Why don’t you invite (Mr. X) to Sarah’s wedding in June? He is a nice man.”  

“He probably won’t want to go,” said I. On some level, I felt it would be fun to have a date for my niece’s wedding. Mr. X had offered his home and a car anytime I was in Toronto when we met in January. People often make those type of offers, do they mean it when they do? I sent him an e-mail a few days later. I was surprised at his response. Not only did he want to go with me, he offered four different color suits, to go with whatever I was wearing. He had other thoughts and suggestions as well. He obviously had given the weekend some thought.

We had a choice of vehicles, his Honda or a sportscar. He asked what about a gift? He suggested a big fat envelope of cash, “everyone likes to get money as a wedding gift!” He said it would be fun.  This was not the response I expected. I expected to be rejected as he had in the past. My cells were programmed for his rejection. I was being triggered by this liaison. I had specifically cleared my family of origin, my past husbands, other men I had relationships  with, my children and my work. I had not gone back 40 years to clear the issues with him and his ending our relationship. 

What I have discovered is that we can clear generic emotions. When the hurt is deep, we have to clear specific emotions pertaining to that individual to heal heartbreak. Each time our heart is broken we build a shield of protection around it. We surround
ourselves with so much armor that no one can break through. In fact, we repel love and potential partners with this shielding. 
From January to June, I thought about him. I felt safe in the fact that there was plenty of time before my niece’s wedding. 

Until now. Looking for the parking deck adjacent lot jus to Los Angeles  airport, I knew something had shifted. My willingness to let go and recognize my own part in our breakup shifted my perspective. I hurt him. He didn’t just hurt me. Sitting on the Air Canada wide-bodied jet, hours away from landing in Toronto, feeling a sense of being here before, the deja vu is real. I have let the hurt go. I decided that I held the responsibility for the ending of our relationship as much as he did. He was as hurt, if not more than me from my disrespecting his personal boundaries. 

Somewhere in the ethers a door opened. Then another one, and another one. My willingness to shift caused the Universe to move. A wind blew, changing my direction. A door opened and I walked through it. Standing on the other side of pain, I am open, feeling a profound anticipation of what the infinite possibilities could be of our weekend wedding date.

If you liked this, let me know. Share it with your friends. Post it on FaceBook. The romance continues as I embark into the great unknown with the excitement of a teenager in a woman’s body. Stay tuned for Part II of My Wedding Date.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a happy woman. She lives fully present, engaged, open to the unlimited possibilities of The Universe. She assists women and men with sexual dysfunction, self esteem, self loathing, depression, anxiety, anger, fears, grief, shame and guilt. She works with those people willing to commit financially and emotionally to healing as if their life depended on it, because it probably does. Our thoughts create our reality. If we are struggling with pain, disease or illness, it is because of unresolved emotional issues within us. You can contact her here to set up an appointment to work with Jenifer.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Sexy At Sixty

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Aging is a state of mind. Today at 60 many people look like they are barely 40. When we eat healthy, live an active, positive lifestyle with meditation, mindfulness and great sex, we stay young well into our 80's.  There is no reason if you are healthy
not to feel sexy. Feeling sexy is a state of mind, just like feeling old is. Focus on happiness, mindfulness and meditation keeps us young. I tell my body, "Every day I am getting younger and younger." The mind is an amazing thing. At nearly 61, may people confuse me for a forty-year-old. I look younger now than I did in my 50's. I am not alone. Those who don't drink, don't smoke, eat healthy nutritious foods stay younger much longer than those who eat processed foods.

Mind over Age

There is no doubt that being happy keeps us looking young. One of the things I help women do is to be happy. When we are happy, fun-loving and open to new ideas, our mind stays fresh, alive and youthful. Our mind is an amazing computer for our bodies. When we upload negative software, our body ages quickly. When our software (thoughts) are loving, accepting and positive we stay young much longer.  I have met women who complained about everything and looked 20 years older than me, that did not believe me when I told them my age. Complaining, gossiping, griping, bitching and focusing on the negative, fighting with everyone in your life, will age you faster. 

Our attitude is everything. With a positive attitude and a healthy perspective focusing on vibrant health, rather than illness and youthfulness rather than "growing old" also helps to program the unconscious mind. 90% of our thoughts happen without our knowledge. Allowing the unconscious mind to run amok allows us to fall into self-criticism and negativity. When we look at ourselves in the mirror and focus on how fat we are, fat is all we see. We fail to see the beauty that is there. The more loving you are to yourself, the more radiant the love is that shines out of your face, skin and energy field.
Our bodies go through change. Hormone production slow down. This drop in hormone production can slow down our metabolism, resulting in weight gain, or at least challenges staying at the same weight. As our hormones change so do our desires. Thinking about
sex on a daily basis, engaging in massage, touch and love-making regularly will keep your body supple, alive and passionate. 

Having regular sex keeps the vagina supple and exercised. Without regular sex, the vagina will shrink and the tissue inside can become atrophied and tender. There are natural methods that are safe for post-menopausal women to use. I love the Vitamin Shoppe. They have a great selection of products at reasonable prices.


If our libido drops, there are so many things we can take safely that are plant-based to jump start our motors. My favorites are mentioned in my book, Orgasm For Life. I have used Horny Goat Weed and Steel Libido with excellent results. Steel Libido by Irwin Naturals helps with dryness which is a side-effect of menopause.

Natural Lubricant

My favorite lubricant is coconut oil. Olive oil works well also. Coconut oil has the added benefit of being an anti-fungal agent, good for inflammation and also works as an analgesic (Pain reducer).

We Were Meant To Move

Indigenous peoples move until they die. They don't sit in chairs or on a couch all day. Many people reduce their activity level as they grow more mature. Our bodies were meant to move well into our
Even after a knee replacement they are walking
80's and 90's. Staying active keeps our joints mobile and our hearts working with the added oxygen of exercise. We don't have to job or do aerobics. Swimming is the best exercises for working all our muscles. Walking is a non-contact sport, that keeps knees and arms moving. Getting outside in nature makes life worth living.

Oxygen and Lung Capacity

Many people are barely breathing. Not inhaling fully will result in a reduced lung capacity as you grow older. Shallow breathing is often a result of low self-esteem. Affirm life by breathing in deeply. Make yourself do this at least three times a day. Affirm, I LOVE 
LIFE and breathe in. Slowly and completely exhale. 

Yoga, dance, Zumba weight training all help to keep the body fit, alive and oxygen filled. Sex relieves stress, boosts our immune system and gives us a burst of feel-good hormones.  

We might not look the way we did when we were 20, that doesn't mean we can't still kick our heels up and live a little, or a lot! Loving acceptance of you, your body and the process of life, rather than fighting with nature will allow you infinitely more joy. Thinking sexy thoughts, walking by the mirror and telling yourself, "You are still one hot mama!" Will shift your perspective. Nothing stays the same. Doing exercises will help keep your butt firmly in place and your mind much happier.

Although our libido may be non-existent at times (or maybe even all of the time) there are measures we can take to help our body stay supple and youthful inside. Using coconut oil, and a plant-based libido booster can shift your mind-body and your spirit will take over! Think sexy thoughts. Feel sexy. Buy yourself some new underwear that makes you feel sexy!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters Cht, NLP, is a love and passion coach. She works with those committed to make a change for the better in their lives. Her focus in self-love. Her radio show, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, launches on BBM in July. Questions about working with Jennifer? E-mail her here.

How To Live Out Your Fantasies

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Did you know that 33 percent of women fantasize about having sex under the Eiffel Tower? 31 percent of men fantasize about having sex in the White House. Did you know that women who fantasize during sex are much more likely to orgasm? Fantasies can be exactly what you need to turn on the heat. How can we turn on the passion in our love lives using our fantasies? 

Have you read, Orgasm For Life yet? If not, you might want to. Sex under the Eiffel Tower, on an airplane, in the ocean off the coast of Bermuda used to be on my bucket list. I believe in living life fully. I believe in living the life that some people only dream about. Maybe that is why I am so happy. My bucket list is getting shorter and shorter every day. What is on yours? I want to hear from you below. Or send me an e-mail. I will read your fantasies on my radio show, All You Need Is Love.

Our fantasies may be erotic thoughts that we just fantasize about and don't want to experience. Some of us, however, might be interested in experiencing and living our fantasies. What types of fantasies turn on most people? You would be surprised at what the Durex Sex Survey found. Here are the top fantasies you could live out and ignite the fire of passion in your love life!

1. Sex in a car. I have to admit road trips make me hot. Maybe that is why I drive so darn much. Blowjobs while driving? Sex in the back seat? So hot! I did it with one of my husbands or was it two?

2. Sex in a pool. Whether it is a community pool or your private pool, sex in water is hot! There are places you can visit on retreat or vacation with your private pool.

3. Movie theaters. Sitting in the back of a movie theater and thinking about getting down? You are not alone. Even if it is to just begin to make out, you might want to rush home before the movie ends!

4. Sex outside. Love picnics? Maybe you love nature. Being naked outdoors is amazing! It is so completely freeing. Whether it is in the back of a pickup truck under the stars in the desert, on a blanket in a meadow, sex outside is amazing! Yes, I have! Desert nights under the stars are so romantic.

5. Be an exhibitionist. Brett Kahr found in his study on sex fantasies that 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex. Another 5 percent fantasize about taking their clothes off in public.

6. Boss - co-worker sex. 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men fantasize about having sex with co-workers. Being dressed up in work attire can make you feel positive and confident. Having sex with your boss has to do with power. Power is hot! Have a desk at home? Why not try out the boss-co-worker sex at home?

7. The Voyeur. Many people get turned on watching others having sex. It is natural. Many people have the fantasy of being watched during sex. This is why porn is so alluring.

8. Watching Each Other Masturbate. Ew? Oh c'mon! Sex is natural! Remember George Michael said it is! This is a great way to change things up a bit and learn what each other really likes. Maybe you will learn something new!

9. French Maid. Such an easy one to re-create. Halloween stores
have these costumes for a reason. Try a French accent. Make it real!

10. Threesomes! Oh yes! Ooh la la! So many men have this fantasy. Many men would be delighted to have you bring home a friend to expand this fantasy into reality. I have been asked about this one. The answer is yes! This one is much more fun when you are the one in the middle!

11. Dominating. (Her dominating you.) Women enjoy having a man totally devoted to her, begging for it! Having her hold your arms down, not letting you touch her, could be very exciting. Many men like it when women take charge.

To create amazing sex, we need to discover each others desires. Creating new experiences and heightening our state of arousal raises the bar in our sex lives. Don't die with your dreams still in your heart. I certainly am not. Some of these things I experienced while living in Canada. Maybe it is the cold winters, or the short summers. I live an adventurous life and love what I do. What do you love about these fantasies? What interests you? I want to hear from you.

Shifting into sex and passion was a natural transition for me; someone who loves sex and who has healed addictions and codependency. In my book, Orgasm For Life I share what I
learned on my journey from sexual dysfunction to wholeness. I hope you'll read my books and discover your inner soul's purpose on your road to healing. And connect with me for deeper work, if you feel called.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters now empowers women and men through her love and passion coaching. Using six modalities, the experience is different for every person. A lack of Self-love is the source of all addictions.
Loving the self is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world. You can e-mail Jennifer here for your personal 30-minute FREE discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

5 Ways You May Be Blocking Love

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Give into love or live in fear. Johnathan Larson "Rent"

Everywhere I go, I hear the same refrain, "What I am looking for is THE ONE!" Even today while tying my shoes at the gym, I chatted with a woman in her late 40's. She told me, "I have not yet found THE ONE." Her life would be complete with this one person. My clients come to me looking for a loving relationship. What do all these people have in common?

1. Your love tank is empty. Universal Law teaches us that we can't manifest something from a place of lack. We have to feel love to get love. The more we focus on what we don't have, the more alone or lonely we feel. The more we talk about being alone, not having anyone, the more alone we are. Lovingly accepting you as you are is the key. Fill yourself up to overflowing with love, and then you become a magnet for love. Wonder if you love yourself? Then take my Self Love quiz at the end of this article.

It seems like a cruel joke that you can't find love when you aren't loving or accepting of yourself. To magnetize love to you, fill yourself with love. Rather than beating yourself up, soften your
gaze. Shift your focus to being enough, rather than imperfect. When we try to be perfect, we can't help but fall short. Instead, be the best you - that you can be. 

Be the love you wish to have. A version of Gandhi's quote

Loving you completely shifts your paradigm. When you try to attract someone from a place of lack, you will find that the type of person you attract is also coming to you with a love tank that is empty. When we lovingly accept ourselves, we emit a different energy. We emit the vibration of joy, love, bliss, happiness and what we want to draw in; LOVE!

2. You Criticise Others. When we criticise others, we have difficulty accepting ourselves as we are. Generally, people who condemn others are equally negative about themselves. When we focus on other's faults, that is all we see. Focusing on faults rather than the beauty in each person closes our hearts to love. Choose to love and accept yourself the way you are. When you love and accept  yourself, you will also accept others the way they are, rather than trying to change, or fix them.

3. You try to control others.  As much as we might want to make others do our bidding, we can't. We cannot control anyone else but us. Control comes from fear. You can't be in love and fear at the same time. Let go of the need to control. You will find that you have a lot more fun and more loving relationships. 

4. You complain. The more we complain, the more chaos and drama we draw into our lives. When we complain, our hearts are closed. When we are complaining, we are not grateful for what we do have. Complaining keeps good things from coming to you, like loving partnerships. When we complain, we most likely live in a negative perspective. Everything that is bad is drawn to you, or it seems this way. You might even find yourself asking, "What else could go wrong." You might even be sick a lot, have body aches or pains, insomnia. 

5. You expect others to make you happy. I know this sounds strange, but when we expect others to make us happy, we don't take personal responsibility for ourselves. No one can make you happy but you. Expecting others to do anything sets them up for failure. High expectations mean we will always be disappointed. Going with the flow and allowing life to unfold rather than expecting people to do certain things for you will help you relax into life, rather than always disappointed from it. 

Self-love is the cornerstone of my work. When we love ourselves, all our relationships become so much easier. Life begins to be one of ease. We stop battling with everyone. Our inner conflict disappears and we find more joy in life. With our soul purpose, we
feel fulfilled with our work. Love is joyous. Sex is so much more enjoyable. Life is fun rather than drudgery. If you are ready to live the life you always wanted, e-mail me for a private self-discovery session for FREE. It may be the best 30 minutes of your life!

Check out my Quiz at MakeAQuiz.net!

With Love To All Fathers

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

My sons with their father in Colorado 6/2015

Anyone can be a father. Being a parent is entirely another story. Of all the events in our lives, I believe parenting is one of the most challenging. We set standards for our children, teach morals, beliefs and give them the freedom to be themselves, to make their own mistakes and learn. Fathers have the role of modelling for their children about being out in the world. Our relationship with our fathers, healed or unhealed is what creates the foundation for our success, ability to accumulate wealth and make money, or not. If we continue to have issues with these things, we need to heal these issues.

Attending my daughter's choral event again!
I salute those men who after a long day of work spend time with their children, who attend their children's games, events and school plays. To those men who live a distance away from their children and continue to be involved, you are amazing! Encouragement, teaching, moulding and guiding are what a loving father does for his children. He sets the tone for his children's success. Our parents do the best they can do for us; we improve upon what they received, by learning from their mistakes and raising the bar. 

All of us together as friends - after divorce and re-marriage
No one is perfect. Men who can talk about their challenges, sharing with their children how they overcame them, strengthens our off-spring. It teaches the child that issues will come up, we learn and grow from each one. 

A mountain hike in Colorado 2015
Divorce does not terminate the role of a father. Divorce can add the distance of miles. It does not have to end the relationship with the child. Devoted Dads resolve to do the best they can with what they have been given. Being a father does not end when the child graduates. Even adult children need to have the guidance and of love of their parents long after they have become women and men. Roles change and evolve as our children grow. Instead of having to correct manners and swearing, fathers provide financial guidance, business support and relationship counselling. We see our children through difficulties, as they watch us have ours. We are humans, doing the best we can, rising above our differences, growing in love.

My sons are now in their 30's. Their father and I have been divorced for well over 20 years now. Our sons are now men. They have witnessed both of their parents divorces, re-marry and divorce again. They have learned that relationships are challenging. They have watched us heal our mutual differences and accept each other as friends. We recently spent four nights together under the same roof, the first time in over 20 years. We reminisced, and talked as friends. It was a positive experience for us all. My daughter who lost her father enjoyed time with the boy's father as well.

We enjoyed meals together, outings, hiking the mountains of Colorado. It was a beneficial experience for us. Just because a marriage ends, does not mean the love is gone. It just changes form. 

 Love Never Dies It Just Changes Form

Real fathers continue to be involved with their children. Their children matter to them. The ending of a marriage does not have to mean the end of the relationship with the child. 

Our children continue to need us in different ways as they mature. Knowing when to be silent, supportive and encouraging is something we learn as we go. Often our children need an ear. Giving guidance only when they ask, takes restraint and maturity. Each of us is having our personal experience being a parent. How do you show up for your children? What model are you giving them to follow?

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters now empowers women and men through her love and passion coaching. Using six modalities, the experience is different for every person. A lack of Self-love is the source of all addictions. Loving the self is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world. You can e-mail Jennifer here for your personal 30-minute FREE discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

Ready to let go of pain, suffering, codependency, addictions, depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, chronic fatigue, the underlying cause of cancer? These are just some of the issues Jennifer helps you work through and let go of. 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

50 Shades of Grey Lessons

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Whether you are into Dominant-submissive relationships or kinky sex, or not, watching or reading 50 Shades of Grey will certainly excite you or give you a plethora of ideas for sex play adding greater excitement in your boudoir. It may, however, lower your vibration and make you feel very sad. It certainly did that to me. The musical score was fabulous. Here is some music to play to accompany your reading. 

I do not condone physical violence against men or women. This was not about love. 50 Shades of Grey is about sadomasochism and sex. Christian Grey is unable to have a relationship, as he puts it..... "fucks." There is no connection, no love, he is incapable.

In a future post, I will explore the dominant-submissive roles. For the purposes of this article, the focus in on the lessons learned from this movie.

50 Shades of Grey has become a hit for several reasons. Sex begins in the mind. Women are the ones predominantly, reading this book. Men, if you don't see why, I have compiled the lessons to be learned from this rise (forgive the pun) of interest in eroticism. Both parties can benefit from taking turns being more aggressive in bed.  It does not mean you have to haul out whips, rope or tape. Although a silk tie might come in handy on occasion.

50 Shades is alluring for women that fantasize about the rich man who can take her in fast cars, on helicopter and planes, buy lavish gifts and whisk them away from their dull lives. Christian Grey does all of these things. Anastasia is an innocent, virginal college grad who has never experienced sex at all. There is something for everyone. A virginal college grad is a rarity these days. Many men fantasize about taking a girl's virginity. This movie will certainly give you some ideas for making use of your old silk ties! Boy scouts can utilize their knot skills.


The art of teasing the mind has been an exciting adjunct to sex play for centuries. When we allow sexual tension to build excitement increases, making orgasms stronger and pleasure-filled. The longer the anticipation, the more incredible the sex. Grey has rules that set the tone for what is to come. He lets Anastasia know she can't touch him, she can't make noise, and she has to lie still. What happens when you tell someone they can't do something? They want to do it all the more. Ask any teenager.  Grey shows her a silk tie, asking, "Do you know what this is for?" Even showing Anastasia the tie conjures up visions in her mind adding to her excitement and deepening her pleasure. When Grey begins to disrobe her, he does so slowly, deliberately. He is in control. She starts to trust him, opening up to him. 


Spending time kissing, rather than jumping to the old in-out, allows time to bring her sexual energy up. Women are slow to warm up to the idea of sex. They need to be turned on in their mind first. A kiss is exciting on its own. When Grey kisses Anastasia, it is passionate, sensual leaving her breathless, wanting more. Instead of taking her right then, he walks away leaving her stunned, thinking about his lips, his body, what it would feel like to have him on top of her. She is anticipating what is to come. You can use this technique with your partner in the morning leaving them to conjure up fantasies about your hard body pressing up against her (or him) all day long. 

Every time Anastasia thinks about sex with Grey, she bites her lip. There are over 25 instances of her biting her lip in this movie, and 20 minutes of sex.

If you have never worn a blindfold during sex, you are missing out on an amazing sensory experience. With eyes restrained, your sense of touch and smell become heightened. When your other senses 
become stronger excitement builds. Sex is a sensory experience. Heighten your other senses and try a blindfold. Not knowing what is about to happen adds to the anticipation. Ask any blind person about their heightened senses. 

 The Spoken Word

Our voices have the power to vibrate parts of our bodies. Our voice needs to be part of the sexual experience. Many people don't speak during sex. Telling your partner what you are about to do to them, as you are doing it allows them the freedom to let go, enjoy the pleasure of what is happening in the moment. Voice
brings someone back into their body when they tend to drift and disconnect. Many of us have had sexual trauma and need to hear a reassuring voice keep us present, in the moment, rather than avoiding what is occurring. "You're so beautiful! You are amazing! You taste so good. I love the way you smell." All those phrases will excite the mind, engage them to stay with you, rather than drift off. Staying present is one of the fastest ways to help someone to orgasm that has challenges doing so.

Get Creative

We have fingers, nails, a tongue, lips, hair we can use to tickle, tantalize and excite our partners. Try different forms of touch and pressure. Using a feather to tease and excite adds a different dimension and feeling to the sexual experience. Use your imagination. Feed your partner juicy fruit when they are blindfolded. Use an ice cube in your mouth while going down on them. Read Orgasm For Life, for other exciting and sensual experiences.

This Butts For You!

Americans are more open to experience violence than nudity, which is evident in our movie censorship. In Europe, a bare breast or behind is commonplace and natural. 50 Shades has plenty of
nudity for both sexes to enjoy. Dakota Johnson has a lovely youthful body. Her counterpart is just as lovely to look at. 

Overall, this movie was okay. It is dark, kinky and as Christian Grey says so eloquently, "50 Shades of fucked up!" He cannot connect on a heart level. He cannot engage enough to have a real relationship. Their relationship is twisted and purely sexual. If you are looking for some ideas in the bedroom, there are other sexy movies for those who are not into the S&M model.


 Lady Chatterley's Lover was the first erotica I ever read. Written by D.H. Lawrence in 1928, you would be surprised at how titillating it can be. Read erotica together in bed, and watch what unfolds.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach. She empowers women to become happy with themselves and, therefore, happier in life, their relationships and guides them towards their purpose. The cornerstone of her work is healing addictions and codependency. Jennifer empowers women to nurture themselves, stepping into their personal power so that they are more emotionally available and present in their lives. From anxiety to depression, worry, fears or insomnia, Jennifer has done this healing work herself for over 30 years and has developed an integrative healing that shifts you gently without changing who you are. She has helped couples heal long-term marriages, others find their love, and still others live a happier more purpose-filled life.

Jennifer's radio show, All You Need Is Love, airs on BBM Global in July, 2015. Your questions will be answered on air. If you are committed to making positive changes in your life, e-mail Jennifer for a free discovery session to see if her work is a good fit for you.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Joy of Pleasure Seeking

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Call me a hedonist! I have to admit that I love pleasure. 15,300,000 other people seem to be searching for it as well when I googled the term "pleasure." Perhaps that is why I am happy. I do my best to focus on the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled. 

I do what gives me that incredible feeling of pleasure, this is what many people call following your bliss. I travel at least five times a year, I spend time with my family whenever I can, I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. I do work that I love and I stopped trying to make others happy.

What is the definition of pleasure? 

Merriam Webster's definition of pleasure is:
 a source of delight or joy. A frivolous amusement, or sensual gratification. A further search using Bing suggested a happy feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment.

There is no doubt that pleasure raises our happiness quotient. Our brain is geared for pleasure. There are many ways we can experience pleasure; getting exercise, eating healthy foods like fresh fruits and vegetables, spending time with the people we love can also help to heighten our experience of pleasure. Sex also increases pleasure for us. Some people may feel that they aren't good at it, and resist having sex. Many people are only having sex occasionally, rather than regularly. Regular sex keeps us healthy, youthful and balanced.

Of course, the flip side is that relationships can be challenging. Some people may feel that their relationships don't make them happy. Their relationships might not bring them pleasure. If not, why not? 

I recently watched the movie, Hector and the Pursuit of Happiness. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. The movie chronicles a psychiatrist looking for happiness. 

Not only is the movie humorously done, but also a source of inspiration for those looking for it. "Hector" will help you recognize what you already have. The recognition of the good in your life can allow you to feel happier and give you increased pleasure. I agree with the premises in the movie. Seeking pleasure can bring you happiness and Vice Versa.

Different Ways To Experience Pleasure

My little dog Yoda in the very hot sand
Living in the desert can be an intense experience. In the middle of a  two-week, hundred degree plus heat wave I decided to take an impromptu trip to the beach.  I checked the air temperatures in San Diego and was thrilled to find temperatures there were in the low 70's. I booked my hotel through hotels.com and found a boutique hotel that was pet-friendly in Little Italy. 

My time at the beach, although short, recharged me, enlivened and excited me. I received many different types of pleasure there alone. I took myself out to dinner, had a great glass of wine and treated myself to Tiramisu, my favorite. Eating slowly is a sensual experience. Tasting our food slowly, savoring it, can be as sensual an experience as a massage for some of us.

Travel just about anywhere can be exciting. Taking a trip on a whim can be the most exciting. Travel details and planning can bog us down, create more stress, rather than give us the pleasure we seek. Being spontaneous and deciding the same day to go somewhere, without any preparation can give you a sense of excitement or adventure. The trip doesn't need to be lengthy to give you a rush of positive energy and happiness. A road trip can be just what you need to give you inspiration or your batteries a recharge. 

A trip out of town to a lake, mountain or ocean can bring you a new lease on life, ideas or inspiration. Water and sand ground us. We all need to get ourselves grounded, in touch with nature to recognize who we are, and enjoy the simpler things in life, like just being alive. Making love in a new place can also re-ignite that spark into your relationship. Camping is an inexpensive way to travel when you can swing it. 

The Regenerating Affects of The Ocean

Playing on the beach with my dogs gave me great pleasure. I walked along the soft sand, played in the water with my dogs and relaxed on the shore. The sound of the ocean, and just looking out over the water is in itself meditative. Salt water is healing. The

minerals and salt are restorative agents which cleanse our negativity, balancing our PH. I recommend bathing in salt water to many of my clients because of its healing effects.

Our Brain on Sex

A study in the Netherlands determined that both men's and women's brains react similarly during sex. The brain behind the left eye (lateral orbitofrontal cortex) shuts down, which is the seat of reason or behavior control. When you have an orgasm you lose control. There are some differences as we would expect. When women have
sex the 
periaqueductal gray (PAG) is activated. The PAG controls the flight or fight response. It is no wonder that women need to feel safe when having sex. Having trust for their partner also deepens a woman's experience of pleasure.


When women were asked to fake an orgasm the brain scan showed the part of the brain that controls movement was activated. Women actually having orgasms did not. Interesting that the brain registers the difference when we fake orgasm, our body does also.

The Scientists also said that men and women looked like people on heroin while in the throws of orgasm. Pleasure it seems, is the same. It does not matter whether the pleasure is from food sex or drugs.  Denying ourselves pleasure is also saying no to happiness. How do you deny yourself pleasure? I'd love to hear from you. Visit me on FaceBook and join the conversation.

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, life coach, hypnotherapist, and energy healer. She uses all of these tools and a few others in
her coaching practice. If you are ready to commit to being happier, more expanded and having happier relationships, set up your free session with her to work on an issue. This way you will be able to see if her work is a good fit for you.