Everyone Is Codependent At Some Point; You Are Not Alone

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Our need to be loved is an all pervasive one that prevails until the day we die. When we are born, we are totally dependent on our parents for food, care, nurturing and love. If we didn't get everything we needed as infants and children, our need for love, nurturing and validation continues. 

Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring us the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. Dali Lama

Love is the core of our being. It results from an interdependence on one another. Interdependence is the foundational law of nature. It isn't just higher forms of intelligence that rely on each other. Insects rely on communities to survive. The smallest of insects are social beings; it is through interconnectedness and working together that they survive.

Humans need an interconnection with others to survive. Think of the mighty oceans, rivers and streams, clouds, forests, and plants that surround us are all interdependent upon others to survive. Even those that are mightily independent need the support of others at the end of their lives and at times of great sadness or illness. 

The requirement for love continues as children grow. Children need to be held, nurtured and loved they grow up or mental and emotional difficulties result, which can cause challenges throughout their lives. A lifetime of emotional hardship results when children grow up with addicted parents, or are abused or molested which creates depression, numbness and low self-esteem, even sex addiction, which is so sad. Many children feel angry because of their mistreatment, but don't know what to do with this anger. 

When they show up in school, teachers nurture and assist these children growing up. So many children are growing up in broken homes, losing parents or without love and emotional support. In many households, technology is the babysitter. Televisions and cell phones with games do not provide the nurturing, acceptance and love that human contact and hugs do. We see mothers in grocery stores with a cell phone stuck to their heads ignoring the needs of their crying children. 

Our children need us to love them. Borderline Personality is created by abandonment issues, left untreated cause distress on the entire family unit.

Since we are so dependent on others, we need love, compassion and a sense of responsibility and genuine concern for the welfare of others. We aren't machines without feelings. We can't be filled and contented with material goods, wealth, and success alone. It is our interconnectedness that gives us our feelings of security and sense of belonging. 

We need each other. We all need love. We all must love ourselves first, to be happy in the world and relationship with others. Remember when you are out in the world today and always to smile at yourself and others. Each person in our world is a part of the whole. 

We are all interconnected. It doesn't matter if you live in Russia, Denmark, France, the UK, Israel, The United Emirates or the US. I reach out to all of you today and give you a group hug. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being you in the world. I love you all!

Getting to know ourselves, loving and accepting us first is the cornerstone of a healthy society and planet. We all need to love and accept ourselves completely. We all need happiness and harmony. 

Spend some time today sitting in quiet. Think about all the wonderful qualities that you have. What gifts do you share with the world? How are you unique and special? Be grateful for who you are and what you have right now.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What are ten things you love about you?
2. What are ten things you love to do?
3. What are you passionate about?
4. What brings you happiness?
5. How can you nurture and love yourself on a daily basis?

You matter. You are worthy. You are deserving. You are loved. Use the following mantras to shift your focus inward towards loving thoughts and feelings. Allow these mantras to float through your consciousness into your unconscious mind while you perform mundane tasks.

I AM LOVED

I AM SAFE

I AM SECURE

Give gratitude for your talent, the exceptional parts of you that are unique and different. Each one of us is part of the whole community that makes up this planet. Your qualities are different than anyone else. There is a reason for our differences. We need you here. You are a part of this community. You play a big part on this earth. 

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