When you think of getting it on, most people are not thinking of compassion. In fact, compassion might be completely missing from your bedroom.
Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”― Dalai Lama XIV
There are many reasons we need to be compassionate with our partners. Flowers, gifts, and dinners out are wonderful. If you aren't bringing compassion into play in your intimate moments you are only fifty percent there. Acting with love doesn't come easily to many people. Our family of origin might not have modeled what love really looks like.
Your partner might be experiencing pain, emotional upset or an inability to become aroused. Without compassion, all of your sexual prowess and expertise fly out the window. If you don't show compassion to your partner when it's needed you may leave them feeling used, alone and misunderstood.
Personally, I am not interested in pity of any sort. It is a low vibrational emotion.
Compassion in the truest sense of the word is a sympathetic consciousness of empathy of another's distress coupled with a desire to alleviate it.
1. Let go of expectations.
2. Allow yourself to show up heart-centered, and caring.
3. Be fully in the moment. Breathe deeply three times.
4. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel in this
5. Before you touch, ask. "Is it okay if I hug you?" Touch at an inappropriate moment might just piss them off.
6. If you are the one causing the issue say you are sorry.
7. Admit it if you are in the wrong.
8. We are all different. Talk about what compassion means to each of you. You might not be on the same page at all. Everyone has their opinion of what compassion means. If you don't agree, talk about it so you understand and can give your partner what they need.
9. Take care of yourself first. Just like on an airplane if you can't breathe, you can't help another.
Sex and intimacy without compassion can be robotic. Without compassion, we can feel alienated and distanced from our partners.
A heartfelt apology and gaining a greater understanding of what is going on with your partner can take you to a deeper level of intimacy. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. You might just find that your relationship becomes far more fulfilling when you allow your partner to see your soft underbelly and true essence.