Marriage Is Not THE Destination

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Wedding Bliss and Joy

I hear women planning their weddings, pouring time, energy and love over bridal magazines, it seems to me that many feel that a wedding is the final destination. "When I get married I will be happy!" seems to be the sentiment.Yet, marriages are ending at an alarming rate, people are depressed and suicidal, which is far from a blissful state. What is wrong with this picture? 

It was a very happy day

For me, it was not until my fourth marriage that I finally was ALL IN. I gave everything to my marriage. I was no longer looking for someone else. I was completely committed and, in love. I felt satiated with life. I thought I found THE ONE. Boy was I wrong. Within months of our wedding, he was having affairs. Being a psychic I knew these things. I was awakened from a sound sleep when he was away ostensibly visiting with his daughter. At 10:30 after being asleep for half an hour, my guides roused me, saying to me, "You should have heard from Jeff (name changed to protect him) by now."

My happy place in Alpharetta, Georgia

I called him. Instead of him picking up, his phone went straight to voice mail. I could feel guilt on the other end of the line. I knew what this meant. He was not with his daughter. He was with someone else. Why after all these years, inner work and healing did I experience this pain and suffering? Because I had more work to do. I had cleared energetic patterns, but I had not cleared the emotion that I had stuffed deep down for over 50 years. I had covered up pain with anger and stuffed it all deep down inside.

Discovering your spouse or partner is having an affair is devastating. You begin to question what is wrong with you. The point is, that it is not you. It is them. They have a void that is not being filled. They looked to you to fill it and you did not. No one else can.

Each of us have our own lessons to learn. We all experience pain, suffering and trauma on some level to help us look within and grow. Pain is the catalyst for growth. Without it, we stagnate. Our soul purpose is to evolve and become enlightened, but most people have forgotten what we are here to do. Not everyone turns within. It is the higher road, but not an easy one. We each have to take responsibility for your own life, happiness and bliss. We depend on our marriages, husbands and wives to fulfill us. When this does not happen, you do what I did, you divorce them. 

Returning from India - Atlanta, GA with Ariel

Yet, happiness does not come from re-marrying another. It comes from deep introspection and self discovery. I had done so much of this it made me really question what was going on. After three months of grieving, screaming, crying and tossing his crap out of my barn, I let it all go. He was the catalyst for deep healing of my blocked emotions, and thankfully, I learned to let it all go. I was grateful for what he gave me. I let him go with love. Each person we encounter has something to teach us. Learning the lesson and recognizing the gift is the important message. Instead most of us blame our spouse or ex for what they did to us. When we do, we are missing the point. If you do not learn, grow, forgive and let go, you will attract another who will teach you a more difficult lesson. This will keep repeating until you learn. Your fulfillment, your happiness is an inside job. You are the purveyor of your own bliss, joy and happiness. You are the one who needs to say, "I choose to be happy. No one else can give that to me."

We focus on what another can give us. Yet, what we give ourselves is permanent. Self acceptance, self care, unconditional love. Until we give it to ourselves, we are giving to others to manipulate, control and to attempt to fill the empty places within  ourselves. No other can fill a void. No other can love you enough. No other can validate you as you can yourself. 

When another is expecting us to fulfill them, to be responsible for their happiness, it is a huge burden. It is an impossible task. Yet, men, women and children spend lifetimes attempting to make others happy, to no avail. It is not possible. You will feel like a failure if you make this your life's mission.

The old me, hugely popular but very unhappy

Instead love and accept yourself. Love yourself no matter what. Love the journey, the joy ride, rather than look to an event in your life to make you happy. No ring, certificate or marriage will give you happiness permanently. This is an experience and feeling you give to yourself. Live in the moment, rather than focusing on how some future event will make you happy. Each event in our life only comes one time. If you are focusing on the future, you miss the joy of the moment. You miss the love that is present right now. You miss out on living life to the fullest.

After The Wedding

When women (especially) focus on the fact that getting married will make them happy, they wake up days or weeks later and feel let down. If the wedding and being married didn't make me happy, then it must be my husband's fault. We blame the men for not doing it for us. Many women begin looking or another for this very reason. It may happen in 5, 10 or 20 years down the road. If you are not happy with yourself, no marriage will make you feel better about you. You may have the greatest guy in the world, but unfortunately you don't see him as great, because you don't FEEL great. This very thing recently happened within my own family. My son married a beautiful girl. He was deeply in love and committed to her. 

Her focus was on the wedding, rather than the relationship. Everything had to be perfect. She spent hundreds of hours creating center pieces for each table, decorations and give-aways for the guests. She put so much energy into the wedding. When my daughter (her bridesmaid) tinted her hair 6 months before the wedding, she freaked out. Yelling at her on Face Book, "How could you do this to me!" She was a bridezilla. The wedding, rather than the relationship was her focus. Within 2 years she met a guy at the gym that shone brighter - he must be the one that will do it for me! My son was devastated. 

Self Love Is The Key To Happiness

When we look for happiness outside of ourselves, we find that a love, marriage, job or car only gives us a temporary charge. The feelings don't last because there is not enough love for ourselves. We are giving to others from an empty place. There is simply not enough to go around. When we are filled with unconditional love for ourselves, it is a very different story. Instead of focusing on our faults and being perfect, we need to accept ourselves the way we are - as if we will never change. We all have parts of ourselves that are less than stellar, because we are human. We also have talents, gifts and expertise that no one else has. We are all unique. When we begin to see the magic within ourselves, focusing on the beauty within, rather than seeing ourselves as ugly, imperfect and lacking everything shifts. Everyone of us have personality traits that make us different, those parts that don't smell or look so pretty are the ones we need to embrace unconditionally. Those are the parts that are harder to love. Loving all of us, even those parts that are hard to love, fill us. Instead of feeling incomplete and broken we begin to feel full.

Our connection with God, Allah, Source energy is the other half of the equation. I have never been a religious person. I was not even sure God existed until well into my 30s. I needed proof and my life sure did not show me that there was a God. Many of us feel this way. It isn't God that does bad things to us. It is our patterns, family programming that is in place for us to grow. We look at our lives upside down. We were taught backwards. When we were children we were taught that self love was selfishness. This is not so. I recommend doing The Divine Presence Process Meditation to fill yourself to overflowing. I have a You Tube video that many have used and found their love within.http://youtu.be/8RNHrXoWWsc

We are not looking for another to MAKE US HAPPY. Sex becomes dull quickly. We begin to blame our spouse. We are not all in. We may have spoken the vows, but we don't believe them. Since we don't love ourselves, there is a constant search for the next best thing - whether it is a lover, or subsequent marriage. 

Famous People and Movie Stars

Have you ever noticed how rare it is for movie stars and musicians to have long-term marriages? People in the lime-light are often filled with self-loathing and unworthiness. They are faking it till they make it. Models fall into this category as well. They usually have very low self esteem. When our self esteem bank is low, we can't take criticism, we get extremely defensive and reactive when there is any conflict. We are often in tremendous fear of our partner having an affair or leaving us, because we don't feel good enough. Our thoughts create, so we end up creating just what we fear. Sadly those marriages that had such a beautiful spark of love, end. 


How Do I Focus On The Present?

1. Breathe deeply. Quiet the mind chatter. 
2. Stop blaming yourself for what you did or didn't do in the past.
3. Recognize that each event, relationship or experience in your life is to teach you more about who you are.
4. There is no right or wrong. It was not wrong to fall in love or marry that person. It was just an experience.
5. Let go of your story. Life is a series of experiences that we create for ourselves with our thoughts. If you continually tell your story of woe (I am so sick....  I am so lonely..... I am so broken... I am so depressed.... and I sick and tired...) The Universe will send you more of what you are focusing on. Stop telling your story. 
6. Focus on the positive. Take your attention off the negative and magnify the positive. Whatever you focus your attention on will grow, whether it is positive or negative. You would rather have the positive, right? 
7. If you have issues with 1 - 6 it is time to book your private session with me so that I can assist you to live in the moment, empower you, expand your awareness, heal, grow and evolve. If not now, WHEN?

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. She is awakened, living in the moment fully connected to The Divine. Her sessions are enlightening, heart-opening and life-changing. If you are ready to live life to the fullest, happy with you, connect with Jennifer to schedule your private session now. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com or visit her website and check out what others have experienced through her coaching and teaching. http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

The 3 Keys To Happiness

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

“A Sufi mystic who had always remained happy was asked…. For seventy years people had watched him, he had never been found sad. One day they asked him, ‘What is the secret of your happiness?’ He said, ‘There is no secret. Every morning when I wake up, I meditate for five minutes and I say to myself, ‘Listen, now there are two possibilities: you can be miserable, or you can be blissful. Choose.’ And I always choose to be blissful.’ Osho

Jennifer at the Grand Canyon, 2013

For years I looked for happiness in my relationship, work and my family. I kept coming up empty. It was not until I looked within that I found it permanently.

Life is what we make it. Why not make it a happy one. We know that happiness means we will live longer, being angry resentful and perfectionistic shortens our lives. Women are notorious for looking outside - for a man to complete them and make them happy. Many after 5, 10 or 20 years come up empty, blaming their husband for their unhappiness. 

I did it! I searched from one man to the next, looking for that unbridled passion for living. No one can give that to you. It is your gift. It is your courage to live fully, your desire to be fulfilled, your passion to experience life to the fullest that brings it to you. 

I remember when I was first married to Bill Gates, living in Maryland with our first son, Adam. It was all I had ever dreamed about, yet I was not happy. I had a perfect, healthy son, I was married to a handsome, intelligent man who had a great career and promising future, yet I was not satisfied with my life. I felt empty inside. I felt that something was missing. I thought it was that I missed my family in Canada. Yet, when they came to visit, although it was fun, pleasant and wonderful to have them there, I was still empty inside.

There was a point at which I recognized after 3 marriages failed, that the happiness I was looking for was a choice. I recognized that I was responsible for it. I decided then and there that I would choose to be happy. I would stop looking for it, stop searching outside of me and just be. I became happy with me. It was not instantaneous, but little by little, I learned that I needed to be happy with myself to be happy. I had to learn how to love me, no matter how I felt, how I looked or who I was married to - or not.

I began to fall in love with me. I looked within, asking myself questions. What made me happy. When did I feel the best. When did I feel satisfied. I began to let go of trying to be the perfect little girl my mother wanted. I let go of other's expectations of me. I became my own person. I was no longer a people pleaser, trying to make others happy by lying about who I was. I began to shine my light brightly. Instead of worrying about how small others felt near my light, that was up to them to take care of. Other's feelings were no longer my responsibility.

Jennifer in Georgia

I did what I loved. I became a Master Gardener. I formed my own landscaping company, because I was passionate about gardening and plants. I did it for 11 years until it no longer held that passion any longer. I studied and learned about Metaphysics, hypnotherapy, energy medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine and began to study to be a life coach. I took time to learn and grow. I spent time alone. I began to be a better parent, mother, friend. I lived in the present instead of the past or the future. I loved being me. I recognized I was not perfect, but that was okay. I knew what my faults and flaws were, but did not focus energy on them. Instead I focused on the good, the fun, the bliss. I focused on what made me feel good. 

I meditated every day. I began to teach meditation to others. I awakened fully. I experienced life to the fullest. I moved beyond my fears of everything. I became fearless!

I am an adventurer. I love life, I enjoy travel, I love to garden. I was born in Toronto, as a flight attendant for Air Canada I was transferred to Montreal. I moved to Maryland, London, England, Maryland again, Atlanta, Georgia, Boulder, Colorado, and now the desert of California. No moss has grown under my feet. I love adventure. It makes me feel alive. I love to meet new people, and share experiences, teaching what I have learned. Still I have heard from those recently on a fabulous whirlwind book tour, that when they returned home, they were still them, sadly they said.

I find joy in the simplest of things. A hot cup of coffee or tea, brings me pleasure. I get up early so I don't have to rush. I enjoy my solitude. Each morning, I walk my dogs out alone in the desert. This sets the tone for the rest of my day. I find peace inside myself. Walking is a form of meditation for me. I talk to God in the desert. I am alone, without any distractions to take me away from my experience. I leave my cell phone in my car, as it distracts and detracts from my experience. When I am writing I turn the phone on silent. This way, my writing brings me joy, peace and things flow better through me. When I am with a client, I give them my full attention. I am not on FaceBook, or Linked In, or writing my blog. I am fully present with them. My clients feel it.

When you are happy to be alive, loving yourself fully - it does not matter where you are, you are happy. It does not matter who you are with, you are happy. It does not matter what you are doing - it could be the most dull and mindless task, but you are still there, so you are happy! 

No one outside of you can bring it or give it to you. It does not grow on trees, or on money, for that can die and be lost. It is not in a car, motorcycle, lover, although all of those new and wonderful things can excite you in various ways, but they don't make you happy.

If you are on an Internet site writing in your profile, "Looking for someone to make me happy," you will be looking a very long time. 

What Are The 3 Keys, You Ask?

1. Be Present in the NOW
2. Focus on the positive
3. Love yourself - first, last and always. 

Tonight, I will go into each of these in detail. How to let go of the past, forgive and love anyway. How to focus on the positive and create from love. You won't want to miss the super charged hour of Love, joy and Bliss!

Join me tonight for my weekly podcast. Tonight's subject is "3 Keys to Happiness. Join me. You will be glad you did. Invite your friends, spread the word..... happiness is an inside job! 

3 Keys To Happiness

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5:00 PM PST or 8:00 PM EST

The best hour you spend today with yourself

Playback after the show is

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Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. She is a hypnotherapist, Master Energy Healer, channel, Mystic, intuitive life, love and sex coach. She has a knack for cutting to the root of your issues quickly, compassionately with a directness and honesty rarely found in a practitioner.

Her website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com Sign up for her newsletter, to receive special announcements, guidance and offers.

Contact Jennifer for a private session, Akashic Record reading or energy clearing: JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Do You Choose The Ass Hole Every Time?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

http://blogtalkradio.com/hollischapmanshowInterested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? Join her this Friday at 1:00 PM EST and 10:00 AM PST as Hollis Chapman, author of the book Pursue Your Passion interviews Jennifer about her forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life.
This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.

________________________________

I have been a stubborn person most of my life. Historically, I was highly emotional and reactive. Since I was a kid, I battled with issues of low self esteem. There were many reasons why this is so, but for the purposes of this blog, suffice it to say, my foundational learning was based on not feeling good enough. Because of the way I grew up without validation and positive reinforcement, I felt like a victim. I had deeply ingrained patterns of hatred of men (childhood molestation). I continued to attract men who would abuse me. (Or so I thought). I attracted people who would abuse me. I was victimized in the workplace, marriages and in my life. It was my focus. Even when men tried to love me and show me what I was doing (being reactive) I could not hear them clearly. My programming turned their words around and it all felt like abuse.

I would get pissed off and go to my corner - or leave the marriage. I could not hear the truth if my life depended on it. I divorced, left, moved on and clearly ran away from deep intimacy and connection. It was what I did. My fear of being victimized enveloped me. I did not love myself.  I thought I did, but I didn't. I created my own reality with my programming, which continued to replay in my head.

When we don't love ourselves, we look for the bad boys, or bad girls who will abuse us, mistreat us and abandon us. We unconsciously think that is what we deserve. We have patterns of being unworthy, undeserving and unlovable. We might be addicted, people pleasers unconsciously believing we have to give others love to be loved and accepted. We clearly do not love and accept ourselves. We do nice things for everyone else, in order to be loved and accepted. We are thirsty for validation and acceptance. Usually, our mothers had similar patterns and never validated or accepted us as children. I would never have believed this, had I not lived through it.

I went through men like some women change socks. I experienced many different types of people in this process. Each relationship taught me more about myself. I evolved, I read, did workshops, studied everything I could get my hands on. From Traditional Chinese Medicine, Hypnotherapy, Neurolinguistic Programming, Energy Medicine, Energy Healing, Life Coaching. You name it, I became certified in it. If I found something that helped me feel better, I studied it. I experienced it deeply and it changed me. I began to feel better, more positive. My depression and insomnia healed. 

Our relationships provide a mirror to our own soul. They show us how we feel about ourselves by reflecting our issues back to us. It took me a long time to recognize how this worked. I did not want to believe that I had the deep rage I witnessed in my partners within myself. If your partner is abusing you, it is because you feel unworthy and undeserving of love. You do not love and accept yourself. You are not seeing who you are clearly. You may be avoiding feeling your emotions, conflict or deep conversations about what is truly going on inside of you. You may even avoid therapy. Because this may show you the truth. We avoid the people who do not lie, because we would rather live in denial than see the truth of our own issues. We run away in many different ways. Denial, avoidance and being emotionally unavailable are all ways we do so.

I found that the source of my own depression was repressed anger. When I finally began to release it, I found the pain that had been hiding underneath. 

I kept being attracted to the wrong people for me. The bad boys who would lie, cheat, steal my possessions or money. What this highlighted for me was my deep insecurities, my unworthiness and my neediness. I had deep patterns of hatred of men that I refused to see. I hid the truth from myself refusing to see, repressing who I truly was as well as what my unconscious mind was thinking.

All this, believe it or not, is for your highest and best good. All these events are put in place to evolve your soul. 

If everyone you choose seems to be an asshole, you do not love yourself. It is not the other person, it is YOU! Blaming them for where you are is not accepting this truth. Often we work for people we think are assholes. If assholes is all you see - it is time to look at the ugly truth - you have self hatred. It is not outside of you, the issue and truth lies within.

This is not to say, we need to continue to condemn ourselves. We need to love ourselves, completely, unconditionally and be kind to ourselves. I guide my clients to change their perspective. Instead of holding that magnifying glass in one hand and the baseball bat in the other, let them both go. Think of yourself as a newborn child. Love yourself anyway. Love all of you. Love the patterns, love the shadowy parts. This is what you need. Self acceptance and love is the key to healing. Being hard on yourself is what got you into this state. 

Let go of the fear. Let go of the control. Sink in deeper to the truth of who you are. Under all the insecurities is a beautiful peaceful place. There is beauty that lies within. We just need to be accepting. Loving and nurturing to ourselves. All of this shadowy stuff begins to unravel when we soften our gaze and look at ourselves with love, rather than hate. Hold ourselves in high esteem, rather than recrimination. 

Think of yourself as a newborn infant. When a newborn cries, or poops, we lovingly hold them, change them and feed them. We don't beat them up for their behavior. We accept them and love them as they are, where they are. Using this same lens to view ourselves, gives love a chance to flood us. Acceptance is the way. Love holds the key.

Love is all about beauty, compassion and acceptance. It is not about judgement, condemnation or victimization. Evolution is our soul purpose on this planet. We are here to grow, learn what love is all about and change the world in some way. You cannot change the world when you can't see the light within you. Offering your heart a loving smile, seeing yourself through the eyes of love is the way.

Sex is a way to better understand ourselves. It allows up to open, flower and let go. Through love-making we connect with another, smile lovingly at them, and enjoy some pleasure along the way. Life is supposed to be fun. Sex can add a new level of enjoyment, open you up to the light that you truly are. In an orgasmic state we are the closest we can be to The Divine. We experience a glimpse of awakening through orgasm, as the energy surges up our spinal column through the central channel to the brain. The blissful state we experience is that of God. 

If you continually attract people into your life that hurt, cheat, lie and abuse you, hiring someone like Jennifer could be the best thing you ever did for yourself. Loving myself changed my life. Life does not have to be difficult. We certainly do our best to make it so.

Jennifer is a self love, life and sex coach. She is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. She is awakened, dialed into The Divine, The Ascended Masters and your guides. Her sessions involve an interaction and conversation with God and The Ascended Masters. She has the unique ability to cut to the chase, saving you years of therapy and continued pain and suffering. She is adept at finding your issues, revealing them to you compassionately, guiding you into the light and power that you innately are. Her website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

To schedule your discovery session, or to work with her you may choose to e-mail Jennifer at: JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Clutter in Your Home - Clutter in Your Head

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

Clutter in the house - clutter in your head

As a coach, I work with life issues. When clutter fills a home - I take it seriously, as there is an emotional issue attached. Clutter is insidious, debilitating and depressing. When we enter a cluttered space we can become instantly tired, uncomfortable and feel the energy attached to the stuff lying everywhere. I recently had a session with a client who had an issue with clutter. 

I found that this client had nearly chosen death over life, feeling that there was little to live for. When we don't feel wanted, loved or accepted, we can avoid self-care. Without anyone else around to help, encourage or be a cheerleader for us, we need to hire a professional coach to help us get beyond our own limitations.

Working with others makes me reflect on my own stuff. I don't do well with clutter. It confuses me, makes me feel unfocused and uncomfortable. I find concentration difficult when things are stacked all over the place. I like my stuff put away, in its rightful place and I want it to stay there.

Unfortunately, we use things, remove them from the drawers, leave them out on counter tops, leave your newspapers on a table and the mail stacks up on top of the newspaper. We take vitamins out to take them, leave the bottle on the counter and before long, dishes are piled in the sink, the dishwasher is full and no one wants to put anything away. 

Laundry gets pulled out of the dryer and lays on top, the cats lay on that and cover the freshly laundered clothing with cat hair. Without careful daily tidying, clutter grows. We leave one dress on our bed or chair and by the end of the week, half of our closet is lying around our rooms. Clutter can interrupt your sleep, cause you anxiety and keep you from having friends visit. 

Clutter Has A Cost

I recently emptied out a storage unit that we had been renting since our move to California. Our house is small with few places to store our stuff. We moved a bunch of junk to the storage unit that we could not fit in our house. Having to rent a storage unit for the past eighteen months cost us over $1,000. We couldn't even bring ourselves to visit the unit to remove or add to what was there. Only when the date of my daughter's departure for college began to approach did I finally get up the energy to go and empty the unit out.

What I found in the storage unit was telling. Tools that belonged to my daughter's father, now deceased, most of which we have no earthly idea what they are or even more importantly how to use them. There were 30 or so, empty boxes that we moved from Colorado with, along with empty boxes from our blender, electric kettle, juicer and some sheer curtains my mother gave to me, which I will never use. Even the previous sentence was full of clutter! We paid over $1,000 to rent a space to put stuff we don't need, don't use and don't want to touch. 

Clutter has a cost. Not only does it cost you financially to store it, whether it is off-premises or in your home, it takes up space. You might not be able to park your car in your garage due to the piles of clutter you have in it. Clutter can make us sick, bog us down and make us feel sad and uncomfortable.

People die. It is a fact of life. When they do, there is an interesting phenomenon that takes place. They leave all their stuff here. No one takes what they owned with them when they die. Which means that the people who are left behind have to take care of selling, donating and cleaning out the home of the deceased. When it is our parents that pass on, we often keep things left behind like china, silver, and furniture from our parents. These sentimental objects remind us of our childhood. Each piece has an energetic imprint attached. Taking articles out of a box, can regurgitate the emotions of the object and leave them in your home. 

Fear of letting go of the past can cause us to keep things that we don't need or use. We hang on to old memories, through items. Yet, we could still have the memories without the items in our home.

When my daughter and I left Georgia, we sold almost everything we owned and only shipped few items to Colorado. I sold my landscaping equipment, furniture and gave away what we could not fit in the trunk of my Honda. Of the things we shipped, there were some that were too heavy or fragile. Rather than ship them.......... you guessed it, I rented a storage unit. I paid on the storage unit for 3 years. It cost me $1,800 to store these few antiques, books and kitchen dishes I did not want to ship. I could have shipped them and used them instead. 

Our attachment to our belongings is not healthy. The fact that we spent a total of $2,800 in 3 years, on stored items is crazy! We could have purchased a great deal of NEW STUFF for that money. 

When we returned to Georgia, my daughter and I resolved to load up the remaining items and drag them back to Colorado. We opened the storage unit and began to open the boxes. Before long, we were both sitting on the concrete floor of the storage building, feeling sad and depressed due to the attached energy of the things in the boxes. Papers hold an energy charge. Whatever is going on in the home where the items are lying is imprinted on them. Soft furnishings like sofas, or upholstered chairs are the worst. They hold emotions, sadness, anger and whatever was experienced by the people who sat on the furniture.

When relationships end, getting rid of soft furnishings is a very positive move. The most important item to get rid of is the mattress and box spring if there is one. Mattresses are slept on by both partners, made love on and argued upon. A mattress is something you want to let go of after your marriage or relationship ends.

As above, so below, As without, So within

Clutter makes us anxious, uncomfortable and depressed. When we have clutter in our homes, we have emotional clutter in our minds. Clearing the clutter up, organizing it and dealing with it can help to clear up emotional clutter as well. Avoidance of doing something means you avoid dealing with conflict, and issues of relevance in your life. 

Focus on what is in front of you. 

Do a little every day.

Pick up and put away things as you use them.

Stop putting off taking care of yourself - clutter is avoidance of self-care.

When we continue to leave things astray, rather than put them away, we are not loving or nurturing ourselves. Our souls thrive in tidy, zen-like environments. Living in disorder, disarray and chaos is a reflection of the chaos within. When our house is in order, our inner world will be in harmony also.

There are four types of clutter:

1. Things you don't use or love
2. Things that are untidy or disorganized
3. Too many things in too small a space
4. Unfinished projects

How To Clear The Clutter

Begin taking baby steps to clean up your clutter. Take 5 minutes a day to clean up one 3 foot area. Don't try to do the whole house at once. If you are working on your closet, spend 5 minutes to tidy your hanging clothes first. Then the following day return to do organize what you can in 5 minutes. You will be surprised what you can accomplish in just 5 minutes. 

Clutter has trapped negative energy attached. Once you touch something try to either re-order it or put it in a trash bag to give or toss. Clear up the shampoo bottles in your bathroom, anything that is nearly empty use it up and toss it. Clean the dishes in your sink and put them away. Wash your dishes as soon as you eat, then put them away. Or wash pots and pans before you eat dinner if you become fatigued after eating. 

Each day put away the things that have been taken out that are still in use. Return them to their proper place. If you don't use an item, get rid of it. Re-using or recycling is a good thing. Someone might love what you give away. If clothes don't fit or you haven't worn them in the past year - get rid of them. If it is worth selling, take it to a consignment shop. Call first, as they often will only take clothes from the most recent years.

Remember if you have clutter in your car, home or office, you will have clutter and chaos within. If you are a hoarder, you hold onto emotions inside your body as well. Neither are healthy. Tidy, re-organize and put away what you use each day, rather than waiting to take care of it all later in the week. Break your tasks into 5-minute increments. Wash your hands frequently, as the energy can cause your hands to become reactive, or tingly.

Clutter will deplete your energy and cause you to have issues within your relationships, and potentially keep others away from you. Ask yourself, what are you trying to keep away? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of loss? Are you afraid that you might use the very item you have just thrown away? You are not alone. Clearing clutter will allow a healthier sex life, as your energy will be more vibrant and you will feel less depressed when your home is in order.

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Happy Here, Happy Anywhere,  Orgasm For Life and Odyssey Victim To Victory. She is a life, love and sex coach. She works with privately by Skype or phone. She is a hypnotherapist, Master Energy healer, and intuitive life coach. She had God on speed dial, as well as The Ascended Masters. She speaks to them during her consultations and passes on the information to you. You can contact her through her website: http://www.JenniferEizabethMasters.com

http://blogtalkradio.com/hollischapmanshow
Interested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? 

This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.

Learning To Love Again

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

http://blogtalkradio.com/hollischapmanshow
Interested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? Join her this Friday at 1:00 PM EST and 10:00 AM PST as Hollis Chapman, author of the book Pursue Your Passion interviews Jennifer about her forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life.

This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.

Loving intensely and passionately, giving your all can be breath-taking. When we give our all in a relationship without holding anything in reserve, and the relationship ends, our heart can feel like someone ran over it with a garbage truck. This love can be the hardest love to overcome. 

In my own life, I have loved, held back and also given my all, holding nothing in reserve. In those relationships where I held back, I did not trust myself completely. I doubted my ability to make good choices and constantly wondered if there wasn't something or someone better. In these relationships, we are not opening our hearts completely. We are not risking everything, we are not all in.

The loves that we gave without holding anything back, risking everything can be the most wonderful and terrible all at the same time. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, completely authentic and open we grow in love together. We are completely committed. When we give without holding anything in reserve we find ourselves on the razor's edge. We know things could go either way. We can fall dangerously and painfully, or we can be in heaven with our hearts aglow, buoyed above all else, at the top of the world. When these relationships end, our hearts hurt. We bleed tears. We run the gamut of emotions. Crying, screaming, grieving. We feel like death should take us, we are in such misery. We feel pain like we never have before. We can't explain to another the depth of the anguish we feel, nor can we know if we will go there again. In those moments, we can't imagine ever venturing into love ever again.

In my life, I have felt love intensely. I have given everything I had and then some. I have had a lover die in my arms after making love. I have married a gay man, unbeknownst to me (until after our wedding). I have been betrayed through affairs - even though we had wild sex regularly. I have been hurt, beaten down emotionally and buoyed up like I was in heaven. I have felt love intensely. Using my own lessons, I speak through my own experience of learning, growing and forgiving. 

Many of my clients have told me that they would never venture into the dating arena after being hurt. Love was just too painful to experience it again. Rejecting the possibility of personal growth, healing and the ability to love again means that you are not living fully. However, looking for love, assures us that it will continue to be elusive. We have to let go to receive it. We have to stop looking to start living. We have to love ourselves completely first, before we can completely love and accept another.

Letting go, forgiving ourselves for our choices and the other for the pain we endured is part of the healing process. Our hearts will mend, eventually. Our minds however, never forget. We keep score on our internal tally sheet of the times our heart has been broken and mean it when we say, "Never again!" Yet, time does heal. We do eventually forgive. If we don't we cause ourselves more pain by suffering endlessly. Our bodies become ill from the anger, resentment and we may even succumb to cancer, diabetes or other ailments from not letting go or forgiving. 

Love is a part of the human experience. Connection is one the human heart needs. Our bodies long for touch, to be hugged again and to be held, like we will never be let go. Humans were not meant to live alone, or to die alone. Marriages and relationships end, continued suffering is optional. Choosing to let go and trust again takes courage. It takes inner resolve. We require the wisdom of the observer that is able to quiet the ego-mind. 

Our egos will tell us, "Don't go there..... remember how it hurt the last time?" Our ego attempts to protect us. It is the rudder on the road of life, not the steering wheel. Not loving or choosing not to have a new loving experience is shutting down or closing your heart. A closed heart emotionally can lead to a heart attack physically. There are many reasons to open your heart - the least of which is concern for your well-being. Loving renews us. Opening our hearts allows light in where darkness once was. It gives us hope of a brighter and much more fun tomorrow. It gives us pause to consider that we might just be able to go there after all. Opening our heart opens us up to unlimited possibilities not just romantically, but in all aspects of our life.

Remember how you felt when you began to connect with someone? Each moment you shared with this person became etched in your mind. As you began to recognize the possibilities with this new person, you marked off your firsts together. Every new experience was monumental. The first whole day you spent together. Your first embrace. The first time you held hands. The first time you really looked deeply and connected with your new loves' eyes. You tend to take things slower when you have been hurt. Slow is good. Taking deliberate, daily steps forward. Slow can keep you grounded. As you begin to feel more comfortable, you begin to be more vulnerable, allowing them in. You gain confidence in yourself, perhaps even considering that you can do this. You talk, listen, then begin to warm up to the idea that anything is possible.

Getting to know someone slowly allows you time to acknowledge and accept the beginning of something new. A second chance, a third chance. You laugh to yourself that you have lost count of how many chances you have had at love.

Eyes are the window to the soul. Deep eye gazing is the first way that our souls connect. We have to feel comfortable enough with ourselves to allow someone to really look deeply into our soul. Your body might tingle when you make deep connected eye contact. Your tummy may flutter. All these new feelings are the stirrings of something greater. They are the possibility of love. 

When we begin to say, "YES!" instead of "HELL NO!" we are allowing ourselves to go further. We are opening up to the possibility of going beyond where we have ventured before. 

We all show up to the party with baggage. Some of us have Louis Vuitton, some of us have Samsonite, some of us come with a slew of steamer trunks that are weighed down with memories, score keeping and "I will never again.............  (fill in the blank). We have our rules and our road blocks. Some of our road blocks are made of concrete, while others are made of wooden boards. We begin to shift our consciousness by accepting the fact that we really do want to be loved, rather than shut in. We begin to see that we really want to have someone to share the road of life with. Life is so much more enjoyable when we share our adventures as well as our day-to-day ups and downs with. 

Yes, we can be fiercely independent and powerful on our own. We can climb mountains, forge streams and create profitable companies. We can do so much on our own. Yet, with another standing by our side, we are so much more. We are not less with a partner. We become so much more. 

Each new day offers us opportunities from The Universe. We can accept these new adventures or say, "NO!" When we reject the opportunities we can create blocks to new life experiences. Life is about forward movement. When we choose to stay stuck in one paradigm rather than allowing new experiences in, we are not living fully we are choosing to die alone. There are steps to take to heal from a past heart-break. These are my recommendations.

1. Forgive yourself for the break-up. Then forgive your past partner. I recommend the Ho'oponopono Prayer. A Kahuna healing that is simple, deep and profound. Forgiving yourself first for your choices, what you did and didn't do is imperative to move forward.
2. Let go of feeling you made a mistake. Every relationship teaches us something profound about ourselves. Even though we may experience pain, there is always a gift - to takeaway. Take responsibility for your choices, rather than blaming your partner. You are not a victim. It was a lesson learned. You learned it well. There are no mistakes only lessons. 
3. Allow yourself to feel your emotions rather than shut them off or hold them inside. Cry if you want to, get angry and vent - without hurting another person. Go to a batting cage, or punch a heavy bag. (I took a self defense course after my second divorce. I wailed on a heavy bag so hard that I was covered with bruises. It allowed me to physically emote and vent my anger. Allowing yourself to release the emotions is healthy.
4. Stop being angry with your ex. At some point you have to let go. If you don't, you are stuck in a paradigm that needs to shift. An energy clearing, hypnotherapy or coaching can help with this. It is NEVER one person's fault. Let it go. Refer to # 1, 2 and 3. REPEAT as needed, till you have let go.
5. Take the time you need to heal and be with yourself. Get to know who you are. Take my Love Yourself Fearlessly course. Find out what you really want in a partner. Write a list. Check it twice. Look at your past patterns. What needs to change within you? What work do you need to do so you don't repeat the same patterns again in another relationship.
6. Recognize when enough time has passed and The Universe is sending you good people. When a person appears in front of you, have the courage to step up and out of your own shit to recognize the good in him or her. We often get so bogged down in making the other sex wrong that we damn everyone. We turn away good partners. We avoid contact. We don't take phone calls because we are afraid. See the good in the person in front of you, rather than making them all WRONG!
7. Let go of your fear. If you have been badly hurt, betrayed, abandoned or abused, it may take years to get to the point where you finally feel you might consider dating again. Getting to this place means you have to let go of the fear. Fear will cause you to avoid situations. Fear will create stories in your mind that aren't true. (Hire a coach to help you resolve this and move beyond your fear).
8. Be authentic. Be yourself. Love who you are. Yes, we might be older, more wrinkled, heavier, thinner, or more experienced than we were the last time. Embrace who you are. Rejoice in your truth. Be honest, open and don't talk endlessly about your ex with your friends or your new dates.
9. See the good. No one is perfect. There is no such thing as a fairy tale. Everyone has faults, even you. Allowing your partner to be imperfect and loving them anyway is what unconditional love is. Don't try to change your partner. You want to be loved and accepted for who you are. You need to do the same with your new partner. Allow them to be who they are - even if they like country and western music, or love to sing in the shower. Whatever it is that drives you crazy, let them be themselves. 

The Ho'oponopono Prayer

This prayer has been used to heal the most difficult of hurts - molestation and physical hurts by the Kahuna healers of Hawaii for hundreds of years. Focus on yourself first. How have you created pain or kept yourself in a situation that was not healthy for you longer than you needed to? Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt. Pray the following prayer slowly, for at least 15 minutes or until you have a feeling of being complete. Once you have completed the prayer for yourself, begin to forgive your partner. 

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. Due out at the end of May, 2014, Orgasm for Life is a light-hearted look at men and women, our differences, challenges and joys. It bridges the gap of our differences and unites our hearts, minds and souls so that we can enjoy orgasms, in all areas of our life, not just in the bedroom. Her website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com  You can reach Jennifer to book your discovery session. See if you are a good fit for Jennifer's private coaching. JenniferElizabethMasters@gmail.com

Jennifer is a hypnotherapist, intuitive life, love and sex coach, empowering women to be all that they can be in their life, love and relationships. Being happy with ourselves, loving all that we are is Jennifer's teaching. She has healed her own codependence, addiction and life. She is a workshop leader, teacher and Metaphysician, guiding people to live their soul purpose and loving their lives.

Moving Out of Fear and Into Trust

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

http://blogtalkradio.com/hollischapmanshow

Interested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? Join her this Friday at 1:00 PM EST and 10:00 AM PST as Hollis Chapman, author of the book Pursue Your Passion interviews Jennifer about her forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life.

This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.

Fear is absence of faith. We often control our loved ones. Controlling others, telling our loved ones how to do things, rather than allowing them to just be who they are, comes from fear. Controlling is a waste of our precious life force energy. Letting go of fear allows us to be in stillness, to listen to our guidance. Our own inner knowing is powerful. We have to be quiet and still to hear the still small voice inside of us. Learning to stop the mind chatter and quiet the mind (our ego) so that we can hear this quiet voice is imperative. 

We need to quiet our mind to be able to hear our inner guidance. Fear makes us feel shattered, nervous and then depend on others to make our decisions for us. No one knows better than your High Self - your true God self for yourself. Our gut is our best guide. Ask questions when sitting in silence, waiting to hear the response of our body will help you. Listen to what your body is saying. Is your stomach gurgling? 

Click the link to hear my podcast about moving out of control and fear, so that we can hear our inner guidance and learn to trust ourselves. In this podcast I give exercises to quiet the mind, so that you can get to and hear the inner guidance.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qnn14i1jrpyv7ta/6054754000-939401-10.mp3

Jennifer's website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Jennifer is the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. This book holds the key to getting to your heart, increasing intimacy and deepening connection with your partner. Jennifer is also a hypnotherapist, Master Energy healer, speaker and radio guest of hundreds of radio shows. She teaches self love, as a means to let go of fear, improve our relationships and deepen our connection with ourselves. Through self love, permanent happiness just happens. Happiness is not something that you get from another. It comes from within. Jennifer is a guide, certified life coach and teacher of Metaphysics. She has been on a spiritual path since she was in her teens. Looking for enlightenment has been her goal since this time. She awakened and became enlightened in 2012 while in Boulder, Colorado. 

All Of Me - John Legend

"All Of Me"  by John Legend.

This beautiful song speaks to me about what real love is all about. It is not about perfection. It is about feeling crazy, being under water. Out of our minds with love. "All of me loves all of you." This is what true love is all about. Listen to the song. "You are my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I am winning."

[Verse 1:]
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

[Pre-Chorus:]
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

[Chorus:]
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

[Verse 2:]
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

[Pre-Chorus:]
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

[Chorus:]
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

[Bridge:]
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

[Chorus:]
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Transformation For Your Life

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

http://blogtalkradio.com/hollischapmanshow
Interested in hearing who Jennifer is on the air? Join her this Friday at 1:00 PM EST and 10:00 AM PST as Hollis Chapman, author of the book Pursue Your Passion interviews Jennifer about her forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life.

This is Jennifer's second time on Hollis' show. Our last time was synergistic, laugh filled and very entertaining. Find out what makes Jennifer tick, and more about her book.

From caterpillar to beautiful butterfly, from infant to healthy adult, we all transform in many ways during our lifetime. When we truly transform is when we recognize our inner power, that we create with our thoughts and we accept ourselves completely. When we recognize we are not just a human with a mind but that we are mind-body-spirit and connected to all that is in the universe we also begin to accept others as part of us as well.

Painted Lady catterpillar

Transformation can be subtle, as we begin to watch our thoughts, monitoring our ability to turn negative in an instant. When we are able to transmute negativity into a positive thought with a mantra, or deep breathing our world becomes a more positive place for us. When we focus on what we have, rather than what we don't have we begin to expand into greater possibilities. We see how we impact our own world, relationships and each other's hearts.

Our relationships cause us to have tremendous growth, if we are awake enough to take responsibility for what is ours, rather than being a victim. We stop blaming our partners for what they did to us, seeing rather that we did it to ourselves on some level. All our relationships become healing opportunities for tremendous growth and transformation. 

As we step into our power, letting go of fears, control and manipulation of others we grow in confidence and self acceptance. The more we begin to loving accept ourselves, warts and all we are more able to love and accept others as they are. This self acceptance grows when we let go of the baseball bat and magnifying glass. We recognize we are not perfect, we have the power to choose for ourselves. Sometimes we choose situations that we learn were not in our highest and best interest. Through self forgiveness, we lovingly acknowledge our need to pay attention to the positive and love ourselves through it all. Our relationships may end, our heart's may break, through it all we grow and know better what we need for ourselves. 

Onward and upward, through loving acceptance of ourselves we gently nudge ourselves towards the light, the better choices and lasting happiness. The more we lovingly accept ourselves with all our quirkiness, weirdness and individuality we open our hearts to accept those whom we have had such a difficult time with in the past. They were merely a mirror into our own issues. What we see in others, we also have an attribute within ourselves. 

Our sexuality becomes a thing of beauty as we grow in acceptance. Our bodies may not be perfect, but we begin to feel beautiful. We radiate beauty from within, which makes us look more beautiful, younger and vibrant. Our expressions of love broaden, become warmer, more open as we let go of fear. When we let go of fear, we build trust in ourselves. In our ability to choose wisely for ourselves and our love-making takes on a different intensity. When we stop monitoring ourselves, wondering how we look in the middle of passion, our pleasure deepens, our bodies unfurl. Orgasms become stronger, more blissful and expansive. We may even experience laughter through ecstasy - the ultimate expression of love - is JOY!

Jennifer is a hypnotherapist, certified life coach and Master energy healer and the author of the forthcoming book: Orgasm For Life. This book will be available for purchase through Amazon as well as Jennifer's website, May 20th. If you enjoyed Jennifer's blog, share it with a friend, help it go viral. With your assistance Jennifer's book will be a global success, aiding men and women to express their love and sexuality in more profound and connected ways. Jennifer is available for private sessions by phone of Skype. She lives in the Mojave desert in California. Jennifer's website is: http://www.JenniferElizabethMasters.com

Jennifer is particularly fond of all God's creatures. She was inspired to write this post while walking in the desert with her dogs this past week. Painted Lady Butterflies were hatching by the thousands. She noted that they all seemed to know which direction to travel. They instinctively traveled west. Her landscaping business, For Heaven Scapes, Ltd. used transformation in her logo. Jennifer has been all about transformation since 2001. From transforming landscapes in Georgia to transforming lives. Her motto is, "Live in the moment and enjoy the ride!"

Jennifer's beautiful truck, For Heaven Scapes, Ltd.